That dreadful drunken cunt Kerr on November 11, 1975, created the most uneven, most unfair, totally one-sided, political playing field in our history yet he’s only just beaten the Queensland justice system by a short head in the race for such treachery – in general playing field creation at least.
Well, that’s my humble, albeit perhaps sensationally overblown, view as I present yet another draft chapter from my upcoming book on just how fucking stupid I must have been to take on the Queensland judicial system.
Chapter ### – The Level Playing Field continued
An earlier chapter with much the same title kicked off with another John – McEnroe – often complaining about how unfair life was to him during his playing-up days. Unfair umpires. Unfair line calls. The world railed and rallied against him.
A quick summary of that chapter: in my appeal to the District Court (DC), I was required to lodge my outline of argument by November 4 last year. The DC registry kindly gave me an extension of some days and that outline got to them a few days later by express post. By comparison, the respondent (the Queensland Police Commissioner on behalf of King Charles 3) was required to submit their outline of argument on December 12, 2025, at 4.30pm to be precise. That’s exactly the same date and time deadline that myself as the appellant and the Commish’s people also had to pick a date from a half-dozen provided by the DC registry as suitable for the appeal hearing in the New Year.
Back to the present. I don’t believe you, my dear reader, would think that my having to lodge my outline of argument some 38 days before the other side was required to do has anything to do with the notions of fair play and proper dealing with opposing partners. You only have to read the respondent’s outline of summary to see the extent to which they attacked mine.
Imagine being a member of the Saint Mary McKillop School For Chased Girls, run by the Swollen Cliterati order of nuns, and having just been beaten in the national Catholic secondary schools debating final by girls from the Cardinal Pell Memorial College for Menstruating Ladies under the tender care of the Silent Sacred Hymen order, you find out the victors had been handed all of your debating points weeks before the final! What mother superior would find that fucking fair, hey?
Anyway, enough theology. This chapter is devoted to something that happened next and, sorry Ned Ryerson, what’s that?
A doozey indeed.
Just before the April 13 District Court appeal hearing, the self-appointed bush lawyer in me realised it might be a good idea to send to the Office of the Director of Public Prosecutions (ODPP) man copies of the entire letters from the Road Safety Camera Office and Queensland Revenue containing the information about the camera operator’s certificate. Yes, that’s the one the Commish’s counsel at appeal strongly suggested never existed.
So I sent the relevant PDFs to the ODPP and the District Court registry to be told very promptly by the registry that I couldn’t do that. I had to personally deliver that material to both them and the respondent “in good time too” just to be fair to the other side.
So, guess what this fuckwit do? I emailed the Office of the Director of Public Prosecutions and told them to ignore the PDFs I had forwarded it.
Want to know what happened on the morning of the appeal hearing? Of course you do. Got this message from a ODPP legal eagle apologising for the fact that he tried to EMAIL – YES, DONALD TRUMP CAPS FOR EMPHASIS – tried to EMAIL me some extra material late on the Friday before for the appeal hearing to consider but it was apparently too large to send!
Yep! I’ve got to dust off the walking frame (bit of exaggeration there for emphasis) and spend $80 to get in and out of the city to two places to obey the rules. This lawyer with a clerk and all his resources could EMAIL – just not by the deadline demanded of me – a fresh affidavit, the hard copy of which was plonked on my table the morning of appeal, including a new historical case not mentioned in the lower-court but one that might be of interest should it be brought up in court.
Altogether now!….
You couldn’t make this shit up!
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