Defeat makes an honest man of Morrison….

…finally!

Well. Well. WELL!

Scott Morrison has finally exposed himself as the mendacious, mindless, faux-marketing moron, the self-centred, selfish, sadsack sook almost all of us always, instinctively, knew he was.

Preacher’s microphone in hand and delivering the biggest dummy spit in political history, this bloated bullshitter has revealed he has only ever held one true belief – and that’s in himself.

Morrison told Margaret Court’s Pentecostal congregation in Perth – one that might be even more bat crazy than his own Horizon Church flock in the shire, hard as that might be to believe – that he has never believed in government and he certainly doesn’t believe in an Australian government that believes in the United Nations.

Does God have a plan for a beaten prime minister,” he intoned, chanelling Steve Martin in Leap of Faith.

Is there another miracle ahead for me, he suggested as Court’s ushers readied themselves to move along the rows with their donation buckets to continue the former tennis player’s good worth.

Clearly, Morrison believes in his own particular money-hungry version of a magic sky daddy and that His blessed rapture is nigh, whereby he and a chosen other few – well, most of his former ministry and maybe Jen and the kids if there’s any room left – will be spirited away to a 1000 years of celestial delight.

He probably shares Court’s view that the blood of Jesus has always protected from COVID, which probably explains his lack of commitment to obtaining vaccines while PM.

That looming Rapture probably also explains why he had no real vision for Australia, apart from downsizing government as much as possible and farming off its remaining duties to his privateer mates. Morrison’s God does love a good money-making hustle that shows He’s loved.

And running up a zillion dollars in government debt wasn’t all that important when Australia won’t be around much longer, courtesy of that looming rapturous event.

Ditto all the climate change crap. Why feel sorry for the koalas, other endangered species and the increasingly Smaller Barrier Reef? Why worry about such triffles that are never going to survive steaming, heaving, lakes of sulphuric acid best viewed from far above, right?

No, being prime minister for this lazy, lying, lardarse was all about telling a litany of lies about Labor come each election and getting back into power on rolled-gold, top-shelf, criminal porkbarrelling and a little help from Newscorpse et, al. And, of course, endless photoshoots to mask a paucity of his own policy plans, one involving hair washing that might have even made Ted Bundy a little queasy.

As arguably the world’s greatest ever marketer and campaigner – at least in the eyes of the great majority of Australia’s mainstream mediocre politics dullarati conned by his 2019 un-miracle survival – it was all fun and games until a seven-year-old soccer player almost got hurt.

So with these amazing revelations from Smoko/Smirko/The Liar from the Shire/TheCrimeMinister/Scottie from Marketing/etc, fucking, etc, about what he really thinks and what he really cares about – i.e him – will those mainstream mediocre scribes now put their hands up and apologise to all of us unconditionally for supporting this dreadful, selfish, self-centred cunt?

I’d be raptured if they did – more so if they also immediately tendered their resignations in the process and looked for jobs more suited to their total lack of political insight let alone some basic clear-thinking logic – read, seeing things for exactly what they always were – but I’m not holding my breath.

Don Gordon-Brown