ANOTHER BUG WORLD SCOOP!

God has stormed out of an exclusive one-on-one interview with Australia’s No1 family newszine after refusing to answer a simple question repeatedly put to Her: “Why didn’t you intervene to make sure Pope Leo XIV did not get lung cancer?”

One third of the Holy Trinity, The Heavenly Mother became visibly more and more upset as we also put to her: “What must the world’s 1.4 billion Catholics think of you if you couldn’t do such a simple thing for them and spare their Vicar of Christ … sorry, your vicar… on earth?”

God’s voice became more strained and louder as the interview went on. “For my sake as well as my son’s sake and the Holy Ghost’s sake, can’t you cunts understand that the world’s in a very bad way at the moment and the three of us can’t be expected to be everywhere at once!”

The Bug: “Can’t the three of you split up?”

Ignoring that question as well, God continued: “Take today for example. The three of us were in a hospital down south in bordering California miraculously curing a lovely young nun of a dreadful case of gonorrhoea – we got the call from a distressed bishop via prayer – when we heard the news of the tragic murders of three children and a teacher up north in Bend, Oregon. How the hell could we have been expected to be in two places at the same time?

“What the hell do you think we are? Omnipotent?”

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