Our compilers/researchers in our two popular media-focused columns all agreed to upgrade this item from Mediocre Bytes to Media Glass House.

We hope you’ll agree at read’s end but first a warning. We’re going to have a bit of fun with two young reporters (shown at top) who we all know – well at least hope – will evolve into fine journalists but to repeat our refrain over a very long journey: who at their workplaces are helping make sure they achieve that goal by kindly pointing out mistakes.

It’s been a gripe of ours for a long while that there may no longer exist in newsrooms experienced hands interested in tutoring tyros to ensure they excel in the craft of journalism.

Today’s possible pointer to that most likely sad fact is last night’s coverage by two news networks of a Brisbane City Council decision to trial food and alcohol sales on half of the city’s RiverCat ferries. Remember, both yarns from our two reporters shown at top made it very clear that the trial service would be for packaged food and alcohol only.

Let’s roll the first tape and dissect last night’s ABC’s 7pm Queensland News where Jessica van Vonderen kicks off the yarn with this: “Public transport with a pint..”

That might be a nice little piece of alliteration but it’s simply wrong. There will not be a single pint poured for passengers on these public … (subs, is there a word starting with P for a ferry or boat!)

But let’s not blame Jessica too much: she’s only reading shit someone else wrote.

Sadly, Ciara Jones’s report that follows carries even more overblown and simply wrong attempts, not so much at alliteration, but at poorly thought-through use of colour writing where traditional word/phrase meanings are not needed.

In the camera piece shown above, Ciara gets it spot on when she explains Lord Mayor Schrivver’s concept: “It will be pre-packaged drinks only with cocktails off the cards..”

So we have no idea at all why she would began her spiel with the notion that passengers “could soon be tapping on and drinking off tap”. Okay, a little bit of alliteration there. But, sadly, Ciara might simply be too young to know what drinking off-tap entails. That’s wrong and it’s simply not going to happen on the Brisbane River. Colour is fine but it’s got to be correct.

Later, she declares that “for now, schooners will have to remain onshore”. For her to suggest that ferry passengers will soon be raising a schooner – or any type of beer glass for that matter – is just so, so wrong.

Over on Nine News Queensland an hour earlier, Ha-Teya Gripske might be a bit older and maybe once tried a XXXX off the wood down at the Brekky Creek Hotel so she avoided Ciara’s off-tap clanger but seeing she also reported on the “packaged only” booze plan, once again we have no idea why someone thought it was a good idea to have her waving a fancy orange coloured goblet about as a prop.

To repeat what was declared earlier; just like there will be no schooners on these ferry trips, no-one will be “raising a glass” of anything, despite what Ha-Teya Gripske thinks. We’re pretty sure that if stubbies and little wine bottles come with any container, it will be a plastic cup small enough to give the impression passengers have gotten value for money.

And a quick rundown on the graphics used for the Nine news report. This one during Ha-Teya’s report is wrong…

… as is the image behind Joel Dry used to kick off the report…

The long, slim, beer glass on the left looks like the ones served in pubs to make you feel a little bit better about paying $16 for the aforementioned schooner. At right is maybe a woman’s shoe?

So, for our final summary. What’s sad about the current state of our once great craft of journalism is that there’s probably a 100 per cent chance that both reporters think they’ve probably done a sound, professional job and there’s no one around any more who knows – let alone cares enough – to put them straight about that.

Then again, maybe just a final thought from Joel Dry…

Want to be alerted immediately a new blog hits Australia’s longest running and most offensive satire site? Simply click on the Follow sign to be emailed new yarns the moment they are uploaded! The very second we go far too far – and trust us we will – you can then quickly unfollow via the three dots!