Federal Opposition Leader Anus Taylor (main picture) has denied trying to “outbid” One Nation with the release of the Liberal-National coalition’s immigration policy.
“We are not in a racist to the…, err, I mean a race to the bottom when it comes to immigration,” Mr Taylor said. “We are offering a policy that takes immigration to the lowest level in our history.
“Of course, technically, that means we need to fall below the numbers on board the First Fleet in 1788.
“Naturally, to do that we will need to make some tough decisions. For instance we will meet our target by cutting immigration numbers both retrospectively as well as prospectively.
“So anyone or any of their family members who turned up on our shores any time from, say, the mid to late 1940s should start packing their bags,” Mr Taylor said.
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A policy idea put forward by the Australian Greens party’s think-tank for government-owned supermarkets has already drawn flak from others in the retail sector.
Apu Nahasapeemapetilon, owner of the Kwik-E-Mart in Springfield west of Brisbane, (below) said the Greens’ idea would have a devastating impact on his business.
“I’m a small businessman who structures his grocery prices just to try making a quid – on average approximately every three seconds by my calculations,” Mr Nahasapeemapetilon said.
“The Greens need to know that inconvenience…, I mean convenience stores like mine may not survive their policy if it is ever implemented.
“They also need to acknowledge that we are the bread and butter of local communities.
“Speaking of bread and butter, both are on special this week. Just $18 for a small sliced loaf not long past its use-by date and only $13.50 for a litre of milk,” Mr Nahasapeemapetilon said before adding, “Come again!”
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WASHINGTON DC: US President Donald Trump’s former press secretary, Karoline Leavitt, says she is very pleased to be starting in a new role. (below)
“I’ve enjoyed my time as press secretary but I’m sure I’ll also enjoy my new role elsewhere in the Trump administration,” Ms Leavitt said.
“My former job based in the White House press office was a stressful and high-pressured one, and required me to interact with reporters as a hardline and unquestioning promoter of the President regardless of what he did or said.
“But moving to another unit within the Trump administration’s media operations, namely Fox News, means I can continue that same work but without having to deal with the sub-human worthless reptiles in the fake news,” she said.
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