FREMANTLE: Officials of the Fremantle Dockers ALF team have revealed the problem that led to its stunning last-minute grand final defeat on Saturday at the hands of the Brisbane Lions.
A club official who did not wish to be identified said a mix-up by coaching staff had caused the wrong motivational video to be screened repeatedly at training sessions for the team throughout its 2026 season.
“Instead of our own in-house viral short-form video, players were subjected at each training session to a video copy of 17-minute black-and-white anti-union film from the 1950s made by the employer peak body, the WA Confederation of Industry, as part of its campaign against the Waterside Workers’ Federation,” the source said.
“The video was also called Wharfie Time, but was subtitled Bludgers on a Wool Bale and was centred on two actors playing lazy but well-paid wharfies who did fuck all and spent most of their day napping. (main picture)
“We reckon that’s where the rot set in, so when the real uplifting and highly charged Wharfie Time was played just minutes from full-time, all the boys just packed it in and looked for a soft and comfy spot on the MCG turf to have a nap,” the source said.
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ATLANTA: The two giant pandas Chinese President, Xi Jinping, promised to send to America have arrived in Atlanta, Georgia.
President Xi announced the imminent arrival of the two pandas (below) under a 10-year loan agreement during his state visit to Washington last week where he was wined and dined by President Donald Trump.
Mr Trump today could not resist taking credit for their arrival at the Atlanta Zoo even though his comments indicated he may not be across all the details of the deal.
“I am totally and wholly responsible for these two magnificent birds arriving in Atlantis and to mark my brilliant deal I am signing an executive order to rename the zoo as the Donald J Trump Zoo,” he told the sole remaining member of the White House press pool allowed to travel on board Air Force Trump after yelling at the same reporter to keep quiet even though they were not speaking.
A zoo spokesperson said the two pandas, Spi Ing and Hunni Trap, were settling in well to their new environment.
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PERTH: Organisers of the now-abandoned 2026 Perth Writers’ Festival say residents of the WA capital will now be missing out on the same experience available to those in eastern states. (below)
The festival, starting in the 1990s, has in recent years faced problems such as COVID lockdowns and was last held in 2024 with the 2025 event deferred until this year but later cancelled.
“We’re very sorry, but we just can’t make the festival work,” a spokesperson said. “We know Perth residents deserve better.
“Just like their counterparts in other states they should have at least one week a year when they can pay to listen to whining, self-obsessed, woke, lefty bleeding heart authors flapping their jaws about their latest bleak and impenetrable tome that will sell a couple of dozen copies if they’re lucky.
“How locals will cope with losing that opportunity, we just don’t know,” the spokesperson said.
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