THE BUG AWARDS:
BRISBANE: A marathon meeting of The Bug‘s panel of eminent journalists and jurists who decide the winners of this news outlet’s various awards ended early this morning with a decision to strike a bespoke award for America’s ambassador to Israel, Mike Huckabee. (below)
Mr Huckabee is a hard-right happy-clapping US Republican and a former governor of Arkansas, a job now held by his hard-right happy-clapping daughter and former press secretary to President Donald Trump in his first term, Sarah Huckabee Sanders. (below)
The judging panel members – whose identities are never disclosed to protect their personal security and award integrity – were called together urgently on Friday at The Bug‘s Brisbane headquarters when news broke of Mr Huckabee’s latest statement on Israel’s blatant genocide and ethnic cleansing directed again Palestinians in Gaza, the West Bank, and elsewhere. (below)
Once assembled in the building’s dedicated awards-judging room, the judges were advised that Mr Huckabee had dismissed the accusations of genocide and ethnic cleansing as false and said Americans would have a more favourable view of Israel if they would “look at the truth”.
He blamed dramatic falls in support for Israel among Americans on anti-Israel disinformation and propaganda, a hatred of those who believe “there is a God and that he’s made up the rules for life”, and a lack of “Biblical literacy” or people not knowing the Bible well enough.
Gasps and swearing, mixed with prolonged laughter were immediately heard throughout floor 47 of The Bug building even through the thickened and supposedly soundproofed walls of the room used by the panel for its regular deliberations.
The judging panel immediately recognised that statements of such stupidity, duplicity, and venality deserved an award for their blatant disregard of obvious and available facts.
Deliberations among them then turned to which of the numerous awards handed out by The Bug best suited Mr Huckabee, according to a source familiar with the meeting.
“It soon became apparent that none of the existing awards was suitable for Mr Huckabee and that he deserved an award in his own name. But then the problem arose of what to call the award.”
The source said several options were put forward from among the judges including:
* The Mike Huckabee Grovelling Zionist Apologist for Israel’s Genocide and Ethnic Cleansing Award,
* The Mike Huckabee Bloodstained Hands Award for Denying the Fact of Israel’s Genocide and Ethnic Cleansing, and
* The Person Who Makes You Think Donald Trump Really Is A Stable Genius Award.
The source said some judges believed a shorter name was appropriate and one suggested “The Mike Huckabee Depths of Shitfuckery Award”, and another believed “The Mike Huckabee: The Sun Rises in the West Award” was both pithy and reflected the ambassador’s denial of the facts.
This prompted another judge to put forward “The Mike Huckabee Denial of Dog’s Balls Award” which did gain some support.
But all judges ended up agreeing on “The Mike Huckabee: No Such Thing As Gravity Award”.
The head of the judging panel then contacted the small Brisbane-based artisnal trophy-making firm that strikes all awards presented by The Bug.
“The firm, which is also never named for security reasons, once again did a remarkable job and produced in short order an award which actually does defy gravity,” (main picture) the source said. “How they did that nobody knows.”
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