IPSWICH: Urgent negotiations this morning have resolved a disagreement between the leader of the white indigenous people’s One Nation Party, Senator Aunty Pauline Hanson, and the Trump administration over her calls for her to be granted an official residence at taxpayers’ expense.

Senator Aunty Pauline, leader of the pineapple fritter people of the large-chips nation who have traded a deep-fried crumbed bream fillet and a small Coke in and around the Ipswich region for generations, revealed her plan following her party’s victory in the Secret Harbour state by-election in Western Australia.

“I want to be firm and clear about one thing,” she said in her trademark hesitant and largely incoherent speaking style after One Nation’s win was confirmed.

“The latest victory for my party in WA shows I am firmly on track to become Prime Minister of Australia.

“I therefore deserve an official residence as PM in waiting and I’ll be asking the outgoing Prime Minister, Anthony Albanese, to provide me with one as soon as possible before I move into The Lodge after, or maybe even before, the 2028 federal poll.”

This morning a One Nation spokesperson confirmed that the plan struck trouble overnight when the Trump administration caught wind of Senator Aunty Pauline’s demand that the new residence be called the White House.

“Yes, it’s true that the current White House objected to the idea,” the spokesperson said. “At least while it’s still standing and painted white.

“But luckily we were able get our party’s major shareholder, Gina Rinehart, (below) to pick up the phone and do a deal to settle the nerves of President Trump’s people.

“The call for an official residence for Senator Aunty Pauline stands, but we are asking that it now be called the White Australia House to avoid any further confusion.”

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