TROPHY AWARD UP-DATE!

SYDNEY: Two of Australia’s best-known public relations experts are recovering in the same inner-city hospital here after coming to blows at their place of work in inner-suburb Surry Hills mid-this-morning.

The Bug understands that Paul Murray and Chris Kenny (pictured at top) exchanged heated words that led to quite a physical brouhaha after they discovered both intended to lodge nominations before week’s end in Australia’s No1 family newszine’s top media award competition, the Arse-Licker-of-the-Month trophy.

Murray and Kenny both work at what the PR industry affectionally calls the Propaganda Palace, a sprawlng commercial cluster that houses their own workplace, LNP/ON News24, formerly known as LNP SkyNews.

Murray is reported to have cited his recent Paul Murray Live hosting (below) where he told Opposition Leader Anus Taylor what he needed to do, as proof positive that he had the August 2026 ALOTM award sown-up. “No-one licks arse better than me and you know it,” he goaded Kenny with. “In fact, you’re not an arselicker’s arsehole! Sure, you have certain skills but it’s hardy in-depth tongue-in-groove stuff is it?

“Ooh, you bitch,” Kenny reportedly spat back. “I can do deep cloacal cleaning if that’s what’s needed!”

Murray: “Bullshit, You’ve never tried it because if you had, your Robert Young would have come up against the bottom of my shoes!”

Kenny: “Be that as it may, I had coffee just yesterday with Lachie (Lachlan Murdoch) and I showed him my own recent live broadcast with some nodding noddy where I got to repeatedly mention that only a Liberal/LNP government has even been capable of managing the economy well.

“I even had time to big-note Little Johnny (John Howard) over his election-winning stance on immigration and I think my “We’ll decide who comes here..!” impersonation was pretty good. And it was as good as a nod and a wink from Lachie that I’ll be proudly holding aloft the Janet Albrechtsen ALOTM trophy early next week!

Murray: “That’s not what Mr Murdoch told me over drinks last night and I can tell you now, you amateur bottom feeder, that we had more than just coffee!”

Kenny: “Ooh, you bitch!”

The Bug understands that once the fists started flying and colleagues egged them on, Murray managed to pin Kenny to the carpet but came off second best after Kenny latched his teeth onto Murray’s left ankle and did considerable damage before other staffers reluctantly broke them up and called for ambulances.

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