Israel’s ambassador ‘to be sent home soon’

CANBERRA: Israel’s ambassador to Australia Dr Hillel Newman is expected to be released from a private hospital here later today after making a full recovery from injuries suffered while carrying out his diplomatic duties several days ago.

A nurse at the Menachem Begin to Heal hospice and spa in leafy inner Manuka told The Bug on the condition of anonymity that Dr Newman had made next to a full recovery from a workplace incident that had left him with “some of the worst limp lettuce marks I’ve every seen”.

“When he was wheeled in the other day, the marks were clearly visible all over his face and as defence wounds on both hands. He could have carried on like a pork chop after what happened to him but he was amazingly stoic. He didn’t shout ‘Oy veh!’ not even once and all the nursing staff love him to bits, especially when he began singing songs from Fiddler on the Roof.”

The Bug understand the ambassador’s injuries were caused during his normal diplomatic duties when called in by Foreign Minister Penny Wong to explain why no criminal charges would be laid against Israel Defence Force officers responsible for the drone deaths in 2024 in Gaza of Australian humanitarian aid worker Zomi Frankcom and six of her colleagues from World Central Kitchen.

A hospital senior administrator added: “I know most Australians will be overjoyed with today’s news that Dr Newman will be sent home soon.”

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