CANBERRA: Prime Minister Anthony Albanese has been hit with another scandal just as he is battling to repel political attacks and allegations of sexism for his podcast comments about the two melons gifted to him by his Japanese counterpart and his previous “shag, marry, date” remarks about Kylie Minogue.
This time he is facing questions over previously unreported comments he made in an exchange in October last year with President Donald Trump’s Secretary of the Treasury, Scott Bessent, while on an official visit to the United States.
In his comments, recorded during a meeting at the US Treasury building in Washington DC, Mr Albanese is seen and heard admiring what he describes as “the big cock” of the openly gay Mr Bessent (main picture) and asks the cabinet secretary if he was “going to give it to me?”.
As he speaks Mr Albanese is seen using his hands to grasp and rub an imaginary cylindrical shape near his mouth while rhythmically sticking his tongue in his left cheek to make it pulse in and out.
A spokesperson for Mr Albanese said nothing untoward should be read into the PM’s remarks or gestures and it would have been rude not to comment on the official gift from Mr Bessent at the time.
***
CLACTON: Electoral authorities have been asked to investigate claims of fraud made by a number of independent candidates against Reform UK leader, Nigel Farage, in the Clacton by-election.
A total of 18 independents who were part of the field of 34 candidates have criticised Mr Farage for attempting to mislead voters by unofficially changing his name during the campaign.
Party-way through the campaign Mr Farage withdrew all his advertising, posters, and pamphlets featuring his image and name and reissued new versions in which he was presented as “Count Cuntface”.
“This was a deliberate and wilful misleading of voters and we demand an official inquiry,” a joint statement by the independents said.
A statement from the Farage camp said they had made the change “openly and honestly” in response to internal polling.
A UK government spokesperson said an investigation was unlikely.
***
WASHINGTON DC: It has been revealed that several Secret Service agents almost died as US President Donald Trump secretly switched aircraft to fly out of Turkiye as a precaution against a possible Iranian missile attack.
“It was all going to plan once the President was in the airport catering truck heading from Air Force One to another US Air Force plane on the Ankara Airport tarmac,” said one agent who did not wish to be named.
“But in the truck the President quickly saw it was carrying nothing but Big Macs and Diet Cokes and he started gorging himself.
“He couldn’t stop stuffing the hamburgers down his throat and guzzling the Coke. It was disgusting.
“He was making so much noise I feared he’d give away the ruse, so I whispered forcefully at him: ‘Quiet. Quiet piggy.’
“Then, as usual, he soon began breaking wind and uncontrollably shitting his pants. Agents like me are accustomed to that, but on that day he had forgotten to wear his diapers and it was as if he was blasting lumpy gravy from his ass.
“We all started gagging and throwing up because of his noxious emissions and we’d be dead right now if we hadn’t ordered the truck driver to speed up,” the agent said.
Want to be alerted immediately a new blog hits Australia’s longest running and most offensive satire site? Simply click on the Follow sign or the link below to be emailed new yarns the moment they are uploaded! The very second we go far too far – and trust us we will – you can then quickly unfollow via the three dots!
Follow The Bug Online on WordPress.com
