SUVA: Australian Prime Minister, Anthony Albanese, appears to have dug himself deeper into trouble by making a second apology for remarks he made about Kylie Minogue on a podcast at the weekend.

Mr Albanese issued an initial “unequivocal” apology after he was hit by criticism about his remark saying he would “shag, marry, date” the Australian singer if given a choice between her and actor Nicole Kidman and variety performer Rhonda Burchmore.

But after arriving in Fiji on his current round of diplomatic visits and in the face of ongoing negative commentary, Mr Albanese moved to settle the issue with a second apology which observers say may well make matters worse for him.

“I spoke on the podcast but it was a very bad phone line,” the Prime Minister explained. “I didn’t know I was talking about Kylie. I thought I was agreeing to shag, marry, date my very good mate Kyle Sandilands.”

***

WASHINGTON DC: US Vice-President, JD Vance, has responded to the republication of a 2016 essay he wrote which mercilessly attacks the then presidential candidate Donald Trump.

Visiting the Great American State Fair on the Washington Mall, Mr Vance at first ignored reporters’ questions on whether the essay proved he had “sold his soul” to Donald Trump.

Instead, Mr Vance attempted to talk up the crowd figures for the event which is helping to mark the 250th anniversary of US independence.

“I’m not talking about something that’s a decade old,” he said. “I’m interested in meeting the millions of people here at the Donald J Trump Washington Mall today who’ve come to visit the Donald J Trump Great American State Fair to mark the Donald J Trump 250th Anniversary of Independence.”

Mr Vance then made a beeline for what he though was a crowd of fair patrons only to find a handful of visitors who had wandered into the Fair looking to use a portable toilet. (main picture)

Forced to address his 2016 essay, the Vice-President adopted a more aggressive attitude.

“Quiet. Quiet piggy,” he barked at a reporter. “I have not sold my soul to Donald Trump.

“That’s fake news. You’re a terrible reporter,” he added while signalling to an aide who began humming the Village People’s song YMCA while the Vice-President danced awkwardly to his limousine and was driven away at high speed.

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WASHINGTON DC: President Donald Trump has revealed a lack of basic knowledge of US history in the wake of his speech celebrating America’s 250th anniversary.

Immediately after his lengthy Fourth of July address which he used to talk up himself and his record in office and denigrate opponents, a less-than-impressed bystander asked the President if he were familiar with the Gettysburg Address.

“I’m not,” Trump replied. “But by the sounds of it, I’m sure Bibi would know where they live. I’ll ask him and get back to you.”

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