Today I can report exclusively to the reader of The Bug that the Nine Network has recruited one of the biggest figures in Australia’s entertainment industry to replace Karl Stefanovic on the Today Show.

Former Sydney commercial FM radio brekkie star, Kyle Sandilands, will bring his special brand of entertainment magic to Today after signing up to a 10-year deal, the value of which has not been disclosed but which my sources at Nine tell me will be worth tens of millions of dollars to the big bloke over the next decade.

“Kyle was invited in for some top secret auditions last week with current co-host Sarah Abo (below) and he and the Today Show producers and network head honchos really hit it off,” one Nine insider told me.

“He had insisted on doing the audition in the nude, and wanted all the cast to do the same so that the show could be, as he said, ‘a bit more edgy’. But he was talked down from that and simply took his shirt off. (main picture)

“At the audition Kyle delivered the sort of shtick that we all came to know and love when he partnered with Jackie O on radio.

“Naturally Sarah wasn’t entirely comfortable working with Kyle, probably because of the sudden departure of Karl.

“She did express some misgivings at the audition, especially about Kyle’s repeated hilarious deliberate mispronunciation of her surname.

“Sure, some people might call it racist. But all the blokes – the Today producers and network execs – just rolled on the floor laughing.

“They all said they hadn’t seen or heard anything that funny since Kamahl guest starred on Hey, Hey, It’s Saturday.

“At the audition Kyle also played recordings of Sarah and other female members of the Today Show taking a piss which he had secretly recorded in the women’s dunny earlier.

“Talk about laugh! All the blokes did. The girls not so much, but they’ll come around I’m sure.

“Then Kyle clinched the deal by producing a range of extra-large dildos, turning them all on, and quizzing Sarah and the other girls on the team – Sylvia Jeffreys, Jayne Azzopardi, and Danika Mason – about which ones they preferred.

“Once again the blokes all split their sides. One of the top execs wanted to get Kyle to sign then and there, which he did,” the source said.

While the deal has been done with Sandilands, my sources also tell me that his imminent arrival on the Today Show set has put at least one nose out of joint among the regular cast.

Apparently Nine’s entertainment editor, Richard Wilkins, (below) is upset that he wasn’t considered as a replacement for Stefanovic.

“Richard is pissed off,” a Nine insider told me. “While he likes Kyle Sandilands, he is angry that as a long-serving cast member he wasn’t even given the opportunity to audition as the new co-host.

“Richard thinks that given his age – he’s 97 or thereabouts, I think – this was his last shot at sitting in the big chair each morning.”

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