Canny investors on cloud Nine!

FINANCE:

By The Bug’s finance guru Morrie Bezzle

Australia now has several dozen freshly minted millionaires following an enormous surge throughout the day in the value of shares in Nine Entertainment Co.

These clever clogs coughed up the cash and bought up big overnight the moment they heard on-line gossip that Karl Stefanovic had been given his marching orders from cohosting the Today show on the Nine Network which is, of course, wholly owned by Nine Entertainment Co.

I too spotted the killing to be made last night but unfortunately most of my borrowed lollies are currently tied up marketing an amazing range of diet pills with my good mate Peter Foster and the final research stages into a powerful sodium engine powered solely by salt water.

Those who struck quickly overnight have seen the company’s shares double almost hourly since trading began today but can I please just give some sound advice from Australia’s top money man to those who might be keen to convert their current paper profit into cold hard cash: hold off just for a while.

If it turns out that Stefanovic is being booted entirely from the Nine network, the value of shares in the overall company will make the hike in nickel miner Poseidon shares in late 1969 look like a minor correction at best.

Oh, and I’d also be divesting of any shares in watering holes around the Nine network’s Sydney studios.

Want to be alerted immediately a new blog hits Australia’s longest running and most offensive satire site? Simply click on the Follow sign to be emailed new yarns the moment they are uploaded! The very second we go far too far – and trust us we will – you can then quickly unfollow via the three dots!

Follow The Bug Online on WordPress.com