International speculation as to why US President Donald Trump appeared so glum and downcast when he arrived in Paris for the G7 has been explained, courtesy of a special, world-exclusive Bug investigation.

Australia’s No1 family newszine can reveal that while the President’s 80th birthday bash went well for most of the night and he enjoyed what he saw between naps, the grand finale that he was most looking forward to – the bathing-costume competition in the White House’s current and pathetically small ballroom to be enjoyed by Trump and a select audience of fellow billionaires – never went ahead. And nor did the medal presentations afterwards in the White House’s residential wing.

A very large US army bus transporting all the contestants broke down many miles from 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue, leaving no time for any backup plan and shattering the hopes and dreams of dozens of beauties carefully selected from a number of local girls’ primary schools.

A White House aide told us: “The president put on a brave face and told staff he didn’t really care if the girls came or not. He said they didn’t as a rule.”

Want to be alerted immediately a new blog hits Australia’s longest running and most offensive satire site? Simply click on the Follow sign or the link below to be emailed new yarns the moment they are uploaded! The very second we go far too far – and trust us we will – you can then quickly unfollow via the three dots!

Follow The Bug Online on WordPress.com