EXTREME COMBATATIVE SPORT:

CANBERRA: A locked cage here in the nation’s capital will soon resolve a bitter rivalry as to who is the Labor Party’s most Zionist male politician at any level of government.

Leaflets have appeared on notice boards and shop windows around the city promoting what’s billed as The Bash for Bibi, and described as the “Ultimate fight night to finally decide who is the furthest right”.

And it will be an all New South Wales affair at 7.30pm next Saturday week, June 27, when Prime Minister Anthony Albanese and NSW Premier Chris Minns slug it out in a mixed martial arts battle with no holds barred over 10 rounds for Zionist supremacy, at least in the political arena.

The locked cage has already been erected on the lawns outside The Lodge (below) and both men have been in heavy training for the bout, reading every book they can get their hands on from Leon Uris as well as reading The Merchant of Venice and watching Oliver! over and over again.

And if that doesn’t draw a big crowd, even with tickets starting at $750, then the undercard should. While not a straight political contest, Foreign Minister Penny Wong and Special Envoy against Anti-Semitism Jillian Segal will fight for the most Zionist woman in Australia title, again with no holes barred.

The winners of both bouts will share the inaugural Fagin/Shylock Trophy, named in honour of great fictional Zionists from the past.

Ticket buyers have been urged to rug up and wear suitable footwear or the night as very cold weather is predicted and the lawns around The Lodge are expected to be heavily covered in Jew. (sorry!)

Finally, although not invited to enter the cage and perform, Queensland Premier David Crisafulli and Liberal MHR from Melbourne Tim Wilson have been invited to act as seconds for each title fight.

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