WASHINGTON DC: A bout of uncontrollable explosive rectal incontinence failed to mar US Donald Trump’s participation in the UFC Freedom 250 event he hosted in the White House grounds.

After sleeping through most of the event in a ringside seat, Mr Trump roused and declared he would enter the special caged fighting ring known as “The Claw” erected on the White House’s south lawn and then challenged any of the top Ultimate Fighting Championship stars to a bout.

Wild applause broke out as Mr Trump shed his usual dark suit, white shirt, and red tie, with a live broadcast by Fox News describing the stripped down Commander in Chief as “the most fighting-fit 80-year-old in history”.

“Just look at that rippling, rock hard torso and his solid six-pack,” Fox commentator Sean Hannity (below) told viewers before adding, “The President is clearly in top physical and mental form and will easily handle a third term in the White House.”

But before any potential opponent could enter the ring Mr Trump experienced one of his regular attacks of rectal incontinence which was made worse than usual since his advanced dementia had caused him to forget to wear his usual extra-strength adult diaper.

When all UFC fighters baulked at taking on the soiled and even smelly than normal President, the bout was awarded to him by default and he was presented with a special solid-gold UFC peace medal.

President Trump was then rushed directly by helicopter from the White House to board Air Force One which flew him to a G7 meeting in France.

As Sean Hannity explained to viewers in the Fox News live broadcast, there was no need for the President to clean himself up before making the trip to France since NATO General-Secretary, Mark Rutte, (below) would be at the G7 to greet Air Force One on its arrival.

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