Someone at Nine News Queensland should be!

“Bullshit!” our Media Glass House compilers all cried out in unison just after 6pm last night (Thursday) as they gathered around the office’s main bar fridge for a well-earned knock-off drink or 12.

And who deserved the spontaneous “bullshit!” call? None other that Nine News Queensland’s newsreader Joel Dry whose voiceover at the top of the bulletin ended with this: “….the list of Labor seats One Nation wants to snatch as the major parties run scared.”

“I’ll give up me Bundy rum and cokes for a month if “run scared” or “running scared” makes an appearance in the news item when it appears,” declared one of our older, most washed up and bitter compilers. “I don’t like coke much anyway.”

We now move on to Melissa Downes’ introduction to the relevant segment, beginning with Opposition Leader Angus Taylor declaring he would have no part in plans for the Liberals not to run against One Nation in some seats the Libs could win, and ending with this: “…either way Pauline Hanson is targeting big scalps.”

Next up was Andrew Probyn’s report, with Hanson declaring her first Labor targets would be Chris Bowen and Tony Burke after which the network’s federal politics editor rightly calls the rise of One Nation an “existential threat to the Coalition”.

“And that’s fucking true enough!” one of our compilers shouted. “Anyone need a top-up?” added another.

Our compilers then leant forward as one, waiting for some political expert or someone from One Nation – or even Probyn himself – to be shown uttering the words to the effect that Labor was running scared. The best Probyn could come up with was: “Labor’s nervous too as she [Hanson] is the lightning rod on immigration, cost of living and political fibs”.

This brought a fresh round of “Bullshit” by all in The Bug‘s mezzanine level 3 that houses the MGH team. They may all be bitter, washed up hacks, but they know there’s a big difference between running scared and being nervous.

“If anyone in Albo’s ministry is nervous about Hanson’s expected trajectory over the next two years as she comes increasingly under the blowtorch of scrutiny over her historic anti-battler ways, I’ll start drinking my Bundys with a no-name cola!” shouted a third MGH compiler.

“And good luck for Poorline coming up with a list of potential ministers to promote during the 2028 campaign,” opined a fourth. Who’s going to debate Albanese then?

Chimed in the youngest compiler: “Even Probyn must know in his heart of hearts that the Joh for PM campaign that I reported on midway through my mainstream career will look like a complete success compared with what awaits this racist, red-headed, ignoramus.”

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