… and will I freeze to death seeing it’s now winter?

As mentioned more or less weekly in recent times, by far the longest chapter in my upcoming and latest loss-leading book (at top and below) is Waiting for the Axe to Fall.

It covers the period since the learned, fair, just and totally professional District Court judge hearing my appeal against a Magistrate’s Court conviction for speeding in a school zone declared that his judgement wouldn’t take long and he’d hand down his decision in a few days, certainly no later than Friday April 17, four days after the appeal hearing just the Monday before, April 13.

So here is my draft of another section under that forever-expanding Waiting for the Axe to Fall…. chapter. The bigger this bloody book gets, the more I’ll lose.

4.30pm Friday 5 June 2026

Is the hosing out nigh?

The District Court registry has just closed for another week, marking full seven weeks since the District Court appeal judge said that he would give his reasons for dismissing my appeal. Yes, I’m still the glass-half empty sort of imbecile who thought taking on the well-oiled and ruthless machinery of the judicial state was a good idea.

Why do I still view that level of fluid so pessimistically, I imagine some of you might be asking, seeing how this adventure has turned out so far? I believe you are probably thinking matters have gone rather well so far. The Police Commissioner’s council at appeal resorting to arguing that a camera operator’s certificate didn’t exist after all! Priceless, you would think. And what a can of worms that opened! My claim that a viral part of the lower-court transcript is missing – and I refuse to believe any nefarious action has taken place here – has still to be resolved my end. I’m sure QTranscripts will be getting back to me soon after my late-May plea for an investigation into that.

And I want to make it perfectly clear that I believe in my heart of hearts that His Honour will be doing his very, very, best to ensure justice is done in what’s turned out to be a remarkably interesting case. So I repeat: why my negative view of the water/softdrink/beer level in my glass?

It all goes back to my long-term solicitor mate who helped me through to the end of the Magistrate’s Court hearing just over a year ago. I have always believed him when he’s told me he’s a very good lawyer – he actually is from everything other legal eagles have told me – so I had to accept he was probably on the money when he said something along the lines of “You know the magistrate is going to slot you regardless of what we say at the hearing!” He was proved spot on. Once the learned magistrate went searching for and finding information she believed confirmed I was in a 40km/hr zone and hinted that while she would listen to arguments on the veracity of her research, she’d prefer not to, I was done and dusted.

“Courts simply will not tolerate anyone getting away with speeding in a school zone and putting all those darling private-school kids in mortal danger!” he said. “Especially Catholic kids?” I think I remember replying. Him: “Ah, hah!”

He has also repeatedly stressed what he thinks the outcome of my appeal will be, based on similar arguments.

Him: “You do know that you’re going to be hosed out of the District Court building?” Me: “Because I could have killed private-school kids?” Him: “Ah, hah! Yep”.

I have great respect for my solicitor mate so I’ve bought goggles, a raincoat, a full Driza-Bone outfit and really large galoshes that can fit over knee-high gum boots as the wait for the axe to fall – or perhaps the court house’s fire emergency hoses to be turned on and flush me out onto George Street – drags on.

Don Gordon-Brown

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