WASHINGTON DC: US Secretary of All-Out All-Conquering War, Pete Hegseth, says he welcomes the opportunity to take a lead role in a new amateur theatre production organised by senior Pentagon staff.

Appearing before a US congressional committee, Mr Hegseth (main picture) first explained the latest change in his official title.

“As you know we made a change in the tiles from the Department of Defence and the Secretary of Defence to the Department of War and Secretary of War,” he told the hearing.

“Now we want to go further and make clear that the United States is ready, willing, and able to wage all-out, all-conquering war wherever and whenever Bibi tells us… I mean wherever and whenever necessary.”

Mr Hegseth then outlined his lead role in a Pentagon staff production of The Caine Mutiny based on Herman Wouk’s Pulitzer Prize-winning 1951 novel that was subsequently adapted into a stage play and a 1954 film starring Humphrey Bogart.

Wouk’s book told the story of the court martial of naval officers serving on the fictional US Navy destroyer minesweeper USS Caine in the Pacific in World War II who face mutiny charges after seizing command of the ship from its captain whom they believe was mentally ill and endangering their lives.

“Our production, in which I take Bogart’s role as Lieutenant Commander Philip Queeg, captain of the Caine, is a little different in its plot,” Hegseth said.

“Instead of the junior officers being court-martialled, the Captain Queeg character – that’s me – is instead facing charges of wilful incompetence and reckless enlargement of the lives of those under his command.

“The production is very realistic too. Our rehearsals have so far been held in a real military court used for real courts martial. The other actors playing the panel of military judges hearing my, or Queeg’s case, are also real judges.

“The writers have also adapted the original text to update the charges against Queeg with contemporary references to decisions I’ve made about the deployment of troops and other military assets to Iraq.”

Mr Hegseth said he did not yet know how the new and updated play ended.

“The writers have delivered a minimalist script and have told me they prefer impromptu responses by me to the lines delivered by the actor playing the military prosecutor and the panel of judges,” he explained.

“But they have warned me that the production will more than likely be taken on the road and that I should prepare myself for a long run when it’s staged in a military prison in Maryland,” he said.

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