FASHION:

NEW YORK: Brisbane impresario Vince Agarol says he is contemplating legal action against organisers of this year’s Met Gala after being evicted from the event.

Mr Agarol is best known as the composer of the as-yet unproduced rock opera Poo Jogger telling the story of Brisbane’s notorious “Poo Jogger” who was caught in 2018 after repeatedly defecating on southside Brisbane suburban driveways. (below)

He explained to The Bug‘s New York bureau that his proposed musical would feature a range of original songs such as a moving love ballad called My Fart Will Go On which he wrote in homage to the theme song from the blockbuster movie Titanic, as well as the more upbeat On Your Drive Again which is a reworking of the Willie Nelson country favourite On the Road Again, and several other tunes including How Do You Solve a Problem Like Diarrhoea? based on Rodgers and Hammerstein’s  How Do You Solve a Problem Like Maria? from The Sound of Music.

“My big finale would be Portaloo, subject of course to the resolution of litigation between me and the Swedish super-group ABBA,” Mr Agarol said.

He said he had applied for tickets to attend this year’s Met Gala at the New York Metropolitan Museum of Art and was quickly accepted.

“To tell the truth I was somewhat surprised at the speed with which my ticket application was processed and accepted,” he said. “It seems they were not interested so much in who I was, but what I’d be wearing.

“In the online application form they asked for details of my outfit and I just put ‘Some old shit’, which is perfectly true.

“Yet there was a big kerfuffle when I hit the brown carpet wrapped in a suit made from my own faeces. (main picture)

“The carpet started off a light beige but was pretty brown by the time I finished walking it.

“Security was called and they hustled me outside the venue and wouldn’t let me back in, so I’m taking them to court to retrieve all the costs I incurred including my flights to and from New York.

“I can’t see what the problem was with my outfit. The fashion choices of everyone else on the brown carpet were also total shit, so why pick on me?”

A spokesperson for the Met Gala rejected Mr Agarol’s claim that his outfit was the cause of his eviction.

“No, no no. That’s not true,” the spokesperson said. “We actually loved Mr Agarol’s outfit, it was perfect for the Met Gala. We just didn’t have enough insect spray to deal with the flies that followed him.”

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