NAVAL GAZING:

The Queensland Government says it has tapped a permanent and reliable source of baseload power following the federal government’s deal with Japan to supply new frigates for the Royal Australian Navy (RAN).

The estimated $20 billion deal for 11 new warships to replace the RAN’s Anzac-class frigates has also sparked an urgent review of defence force purchasing processes.

In Sydney yesterday Deputy Prime Minister and Defence Minister, Richard Marles, and Japan’s Defence Minister, Koizumi Shinjiro, signed the deal which will see the first three new frigates built by Mitsubishi Heavy Industries delivered by 2029. (below)

Soon after news of the deal was reported, the Queensland Government said it would close all coal-fired power stations in the state following the identification of a continuous supply of 100% clean baseload power.

“A technical officer from power authority Energex was visiting the Tewantin Cemetery on the Sunshine Coast when he heard a loud buzzing sound,” a government spokesperson said.

“On investigation the noise and bright flashes of electrical sparks were coming from the grave of the late Bruce Ruxton, the outspoken former RSL identity.

“Apparently he’s been spinning in his grave since the RAN deal was revealed, and Energex has been able to set up a transformer nearby to tap the electricity he’s generating which is sufficient to supply most of the state.” (main picture)

Another result of the signing of the frigate deal has been the announcement by Mr Marles of a special task force to urgently examine defence procurement systems.

“I thought the frigate on the desk in front me when I signed the deal was just a paper mache model, (below) but apparently it’s one of the actual frigates we’re buying for well over $1 billion each,” Mr Marles explained.

“I asked the RAN for an explanation and I have been told that a junior naval procurement clerk who did the final typing of the contract accidentally described the Japanese-made vessels as being Mogami class frigates when they were actual Origami class.

“But I’ve inked the $20 billion deal now and it would be very embarrassing, not to mention it would cause loss of face for the Japanese, if we cancelled the order for 11 of the ships,” Mr Marles said.

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