Give it your best shot, lads!

I won’t mention names but I have an old journo mate of mine who’s a dreadful Tory.

Dave Argus worked at The Telegraph in the late 1970s and early ’80s when I was across the room bedazzling my superiors at The Courier-Mail with my journalistic skills.

I was incredibly bitter over the result of the 2019 federal election and the litany of lies Scott Morrison employed to just scrape back into power and expressed those feelings on Facebook. Imagine how that anger grew as the rolled-gold level of multi-billion-dollar porkbarreling then got exposed in the years that followed.

Dave responded and I’m paraphrasing here but he said basically that I should accept the people’s decision, suck it up and give Scott Morrison a chance to shine over the next three years.
In return, I may have childishly told Dave to go fuck himself. We may not have corresponded since.

But the other day, I noticed Dave having an online dig at Anthony Albanese.

I won’t mention names but another dreadful Tory friend of mine was doing much the same thing.
Both Dave Argus and Craig Thomas are incredibly nice people but, as mentioned above, are dreadful Tories as rusted-on to the right as I am to the left.

Well, it took three excruciating and painful years but winners can finally be grinners and I’m imploring Dave and Craig to chip away to their heart’s content.

They are going to get plenty of practice over the years ahead. My guess is six years at least; maybe double if the Labor Party doesn’t do a Rudd-Gillard and implode, which I know is a big ask.

See what I did there? Left-wing people, even those rusted-on, can have a dig at their own side from time to time. People on the right are always right.

Over the journey, I’ve noticed people on the left can recognise fault on their own side and know, albeit reluctantly, when it’s time and when time’s up. Many lefties also seem to have a self-fulfilling wish that Labor can’t or shouldn’t win elections unless it’s with a Whitlam or a Hawke or a Keating leading the charge.

My experience is that right-wing people have no such qualms. A federal LNP government is the natural order of things and that should be achieved by any means whatsoever.

It’s why I’m reluctant to ask my two Tory mates: How did the last term of government work out for you, Dave? Craig? Did Smoko perform to your expectations? Did his team shine?

I’d bet my bottom dollar that come the next election, if the entire Morrison cabinet, to a man and woman, are being processed through the court system after scathing federal ICAC findings, Dave and Craig will still be rooting for the return of the LNP to power come 2025.

They’ll remember the good, strong stable government the LNP had provided for almost a decade up to May 21, 2022, and will fondly remember Scott Morrison’s leadership and marketing and campaigning skills.

They will have missed completely what a majority of Australians now see so clearly: a lardarse, loathsome, lazy, layabout who couldn’t lie straight in bed; a policy-free zone, a thug and a bully, a soccer-boy tackler and snake-oil salesman and a notorious serial killer of the Queen’s English to boot.

So get stuck into Albanese and whoever follows him, lads! As already mentioned, my best leftie guess is that you’re going to have plenty of time to sharpen those barbs to full ineffect.

And the main reason for that? I sincerely believe that the 2019 federal election was the last to be held in Australia where a majority of the voting public still believed that the LNP were better economic managers than Labor.

But I could be wrong.

Don Gordon-Brown