First up let me apologise to my loyal readers for not filing a report yesterday on Sunday night’s glittering Logie Awards ceremony.

Those familiar with Australian television’s “night of nights” would know how easy it is to be diverted from one’s core business when mixing with the kind of people attending the event.

I for one had been determined to return directly to my hotel room once the live telecast ended and write my column for publication in The Bug on Monday morning.

Unfortunately, on my way out of the Gold Coast Entertainment Centre my path crossed with that of the Nine Network’s breakfast show star Karl Stefanovic. I suspect I really need to say no more.

However, I will explain that most of yesterday remains a blur, although I do recall that just after breakfast yesterday during our bar-hopping Karl and I chanced upon one of the ABC’s many Logie winners, Bluey, sprawled on a footpath in Surfers Paradise. (main picture)

It appears she had also been celebrating and was in the mood for more following her show’s win.

Blue happily joined Karl and me on our alcohol-fuelled meanderings that lasted until dinner time last night and which were interrupted only by several licensed venue owners refusing us service based on Bluey’s age and a short spell at Gold Coast police HQ after Karl and I stripped off on the pokies floor of the Star Casino so that Bluey could teach us how to lick our own genitals.

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Another apology from me, this time for the fact that this special report on the 2022 Logies would be far more informative if during my sojourn with Karl and Bluey I had not lost my trusty reporter’s notebook.

It contained the names of the programs and their cast members who won awards which I had written down meticulously, especially in the “most outstanding” categories judged by industry panels and not reliant on popular votes cast by viewers.

I am not sure how readers feel but I for one continue to be bamboozled at the relatively unknown names and faces who pop up on the “most outstanding” lists of Logie nominees these days which also now encompass the many programs aired on the many streaming services available in our nation.

I secretly, or not so secretly now that I’ve mentioned it here, yearn for the days when we entertainment industry scribes had to remember just a handful of names from a handful of TV channels.

Logies usually went to Don Lane, Ernie Sigley, or Bert Newton, and on occasions Patti Newton, and viewers could be relied upon to vote for a small number of very exceptional programs like Number 96 and Homicide.

On Sunday night I found myself constantly having to ask my journalistic colleagues for the identities of many  nominees as they appeared on screen and then admitting I had never heard of them or watched the program for which they were nominated.

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Speaking of the late great Bert Newton, a bright spot in Sunday night’s Logies telecast was the win by young Hamish Blake of the new Bert Newton Award for best presenter.

Hamish was a popular choice, quite literally of course, although my money was on a joint award for Jessica Rendall and Melissa Mackay who read the ABC TV News in Darwin.

Still, when I cornered him at the ceremony – well before I bumped into Karl and later Bluey – Hamish had started to bristle at the constant comments he had been hearing about him being “the new Bert”.

Frankly I suspect he may need to get used to the moniker. (below)