Biden and US stocks tumble

The US share market has taken a rollercoaster ride in the wake of news that President Joe Biden had  fallen headfirst off a bike while riding with his wife Jill.

The incident in which Mr Biden was reportedly uninjured occurred when he stopped to talk to well-wishers while riding on a bikeway in a park in his home state of Delaware at the weekend.

As has happened in the past when a US President has experienced a physical mishap or even injury, share prices fell on the news of Mr Biden’s tumble.

In response White House staff immediately arranged a media briefing with the President to assure the nation and Wall Street investors.

With wife Jill beside him the President told reporters that his fall could be explained on his unfamiliarity with the pedal stirrups on the bike he was using.

“The Secret Service sourced the bike I was using today,” he explained. “I got my foot caught in the pedal stirrups and couldn’t get it out fast enough to steady myself when I stopped to talk to some people.”

The President’s aides looked on and began smiling as they received social media alerts of a share market rally as the President spoke. However, their mood soon soured as the President continued his remarks.

“I’m not familiar with these new fangled contraptions. They’re just a lot of malarky as far as I’m concerned,” he said. “Who can keep up with these new gizmoes?

“I mean, whose idea was it to have a bike with two wheels of the same size? They’re really hard to ride. Not like the old beauty I used to pedal in my younger days when studying law at the University of Delaware,” Mr Biden said while helpfully handing to reporters copies of an old family photo to illustrate his point. (main picture)

As news came through of a range of stock market indicators doing a u-turn and heading towards freefall, Mr Biden’s aides passed a note to Mrs Biden who whispered in her husband’s ear.

The President then said: “But the good news is I’m not injured.”

The share market indicators plateaued within seconds of the remark.

“Also, I admit a contributing factor to my tumble is the fact I haven’t ridden a bike in a while,” he said.

“But as the old saying goes: riding a bike is just like……errr, it’s just like… ummm….”

Mrs Biden then began to shepherd the President away at which he said to reporters: “Sorry, got to go. Speaker Pelosi here wants to talk to me.”

At last report Wall Street indicators were still heading south.