Photos raise royal doubts

Doubts have arisen about Queen Elizabeth’s commitment to events marking the Platinum Jubilee of her reign following analysis of photographs allegedly showing her appearing without notice on the Buckingham Palace balcony on the last day of organised celebrations.

The high-tech enlargement of photos taken yesterday revealed a so far unidentified woman dressed as Her Majesty lined up with other senior royals. (main picture)

Adding to the speculation about the Queen’s real attitude to the program of celebrations organised for her have been reports citing an anonymous Windsor Castle staff member who said: “Her Majesty spent Saturday evening with her feet up watching DVDs of Dad’s Army while the Party at the Palace live concert was under way at the gates of Buckingham Palace.

“When I took her a supper tray Her Majesty asked, and I quote: ‘Is that shit show in London finished yet?’

“When I told her it was still going she asked me to pour her another large gin and tonic, or as she said: “Giz another episodic mobility issue with lots of ice will you luv?’

“She then gulped it down and threw the empty glass at one of her corgis that had just done a poo on the carpet,” the staff member said.

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UK Prime Minister Boris Johnson has promised to change following his survival of a no-confidence vote by his Conservative Party colleagues that saw 40% of MPs seek to sack him.

Speaking to reporters after the ballot Mr Johnson said he blamed the close call on his public image as a lightweight, jokey and shambolic buffoon.

“I say chaps, and chapettes, I know people think I make light of every serious thing that happens on my watch,” Mr Johnson admitted. “But I now vow to change after winning this no-confidence motion.”

Warming to his subject, Mr Johnson began to dance and chant.

“Hey ho! Bo Jo won the no-co vo!” he said before repeating the words slowly at first then at an ever increasing tempo before dancing out of the briefing room. (pictured)

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New Opposition Leader Peter Dutton has rejected suggestions he has adopted a “born to rule” mentality by calling for an immediate federal election to allow voters to throw out the Albanese Government.

“The Albanese Government has failed, just as I predicted when they took office a few days ago,” Mr Dutton told a news conference in Brisbane. “It gives me little joy to say that I have been proved correct, although I always am.

“People are sick and tired of Labor and their failure to solve our nation’s many problems.

“The Albanese Government has had enough time and I believe voters would welcome the opportunity to correct the mistake they made on 21 May, and to restore the real government to its rightful place,” he said before asking reporters if they could save tapes of his comments for future use on every day of the current parliamentary term.

“That will save us both a lot of time,” Mr Dutton said.