Peter Dutton calls the tune

Peter Dutton has raised eyebrows, but obviously not his own, by insisting on significant protocol changes in the Opposition Leader’s office.

A source within the Liberal leader’s office said Mr Dutton wanted to instil greater public respect in the position of Opposition Leader.

“He’s been inspired by the tradition observed in the United States where every American President is introduced by a band playing Hail to the Chief,” the source said.

“Mr Dutton has finally settled on music that sets the scene for his tenure as Opposition Leader so from now on whenever he enters a room you’ll be hearing the theme music from Jaws.”


Despite promising to stay on as the Member for Cook, former PM Scott Morrison earlier this morning has finally resigned …. himself to the fact that he never was the brilliant marketer/ campaigner/strategist/ forceful and truthful government leader that he and almost the entire mainstream media always thought him to be.


Mr Morrison’s defeat at the recent election has also caused problems for the dominant global internet search engine Google.

A spokesperson for Google said it had been inundated by requests from Australian federal political journalists seeking adjustments to its search algorithm to remove access to certain content.

“The overwhelming number of requests are from Aussie reporters who want us to delete from the public record any reference they made in their previously published work about former PM Morrison’s political marketing skills, as well as any reference to someone called Barnaby Joyce being the nation’s greatest retail politician,” the spokesperson said.

“We’re working through the requests but it will take us some time.”