The shred the PM dreads

A startup firm with no document security expertise has been awarded a $30 million taxpayer-funded contract to shred sensitive federal government documents ahead of Saturday week’s election.

The Bug can reveal that experts in the field estimate the work would be worth no more than $3 million, even given the level of corruption over almost a decade of the Abbott, Turnbull and Morrison governments.

“Heck, I’d have done it for two million,” said one who asked not to be named. “But it should have started much earlier than this.”

Shredders ‘R’ Us will begin the mammoth task this morning, starting with the Prime Minister’s Office and moving as quickly as possible onto the office of Angus Taylor Minister for Industry, Energy and Emissions Reduction. They could be there for some days.

The Bug can reveal that the Shredders ‘R’ Us company had only $12.50 in the bank when it was formed earlier this week, only days before it won the $30 million contract without tender.

It is being run out of an older model campervan in a disused paddock just off the Hume Highway near Yass.

A man who wandered down to the locked gate and who looked much like Angus Taylor but with a beard issued a terse “No comment!” when questioned by The Bug over the role to be played by Shredders ‘R’ Us in coming days now that a change in government is becoming increasingly likely on 21 May.

He walked off as an Amazon truck pulled up with dozens of cheap Chinese-made paper shredders on board.

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Former Prime Minister John Howard reckons the federal election “could be a lot closer than people think”.

“The silly old bugger thinks the election is this weekend,” a neighbour of Howard’s in Sydney’s leafy North Shore told The Bug.