Morrison still has two chances left!

The Morrison government appears to have two chances left of winning the 21 May federal election: none and Buckley’s.

That’s the obvious conclusion to be drawn from new polling data fed into The Bug’s world famous and patented big swinging dick electoral pendulum (at top).

The dick pendulum has swung quite substantially towards Labor after new figures replaced the previous ones from three of the five main pollsters The Bug uses to find the average LNP vote as the election draws near.

Australia’s No1 family netzine is the only news outlet that concentrates of that LNP primary figure to draw conclusions as to the Coalition’s chances of victory at the poll.

That averaged primary figure now stands at 32.9 per cent, compared with the previous average of 34.4.

The new figure puts the Morrison government 8.5 per cent below the primary vote of 41.44 percent it achieved in 2019 to just scrape across the line.

Inventor of the big swinging dick electoral pendulum and arguably Australia’s least accurate amateur psephologist Don Gordon-Brown explained that the LNP primary vote had dipped dramatically in the most recent Roy Morgan and Ipsos polls and marginally in Newspoll.

“I’m awaiting the RPM poll for the Nine mastheads and the Essential Guardian poll but I’m not expecting good news for the government from either after last week’s interest rate hike. The adjusted figures already spell doom for Smoko and his bandits.

“I’m sorry to use sophisticated psepholgist’s jargon here but the way my patented dick has swung of late, Morrison and his government are well and truly fucked.”

The Bug‘s patented big swinging dick electoral pendulum is named in honour of a big swinging dicks club that used to hold sway in federal parliament in days of old. Some of its members and the men they use to hang down from have since left politics.