Top media executives sacked!

BRISBANE: An undisclosed number of senior executives at The Courier-Mail and Sky News Australia have cleared out their desks overnight after being sacked by a livid Rupert Murdoch in a zoom hookup from New York.

The Bug can reveal that even from the general reporters’ desks at The Courier-Mail in Bowen Hills, Mr Murdoch could be heard screaming: “Who the fuck selected those so-called undecided voters?”, referring to the audience of one hundred at the Leaders Forum debate in Woolloongabba.

“I’ve never heard anyone so angry,” one reporter at the LNP’s Bowen Hills branch told us.

“He kept shouting: ‘I want you useless cunts gone by midnight’.

“Mr Murdoch then screamed: ‘I watched the fucking debate and if you braindead cunts couldn’t have found 100 undecided voters who voted at least 125-6 for Morrison, you’re fucking well dead to me! Get the fuck out now!'”

Pictured at top: The Courier-Mail editor Chris Jones is one of those believed to have been sacked last night.

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Plan are being finalised for a different style of National Party policy launch for next month’s federal election.

In previous elections the policy launch has consisted of the party leader, this time Barnaby Joyce, standing and delivering a speech full of election commitments.

But Mr Joyce is already rehearsing a new approach that involves him singing a very small list of commitments to the tune of Kevin “Bloody” Wilson’s hit Do I Look Like I Give A Fuck?

The new approach is aimed at reinforcing Mr Joyce’s and the National Party’s total disinterest in if not total contempt for issues such as taking meaningful steps to fight climate change or to establish a federal anti-corruption commission.

The small number of commitments to be promised by Mr Joyce will include a cover-all promise to blatantly pork-barrel all National Party-held seats regardless of need.

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Labor Party sources say suggestions that former PM Kevin Rudd would be appointed to a key ambassadorial post by an Albanese government are true, but a story this week in The Australian (pictured) about the speculation had got a key fact wrong.

The Australian ran a yarn saying Kevin would be heading off to Washington as Australia’s ambassador to the United States if Albo wins The Lodge,” a senior Labor source said on condition of anonymity.

“It’s true Kevin is in line to be an ambassador but it won’t be in Washington.

“If Labor wins on May 21 Rudd will be given a new post as Ambassador to Queensland where he can work his magic as a Queenslander to talk up Albo’s government.

“A Labor victory relies of winning and holding Queensland seats which looks a bit tough right now so Albo wants to make sure that if he wins in May and faces a poll in 2025, we’re in a much better state in that state,” the source said.