Dutton drives election agenda

CANBERRA: Defence Minister Peter Dutton is determined to take every opportunity to frame the coming federal poll as a “khaki election” by personally driving Prime Minister Scott Morrison to Yarralumla in an Australian Army Bushmaster armoured personnel carrier whenever the PM decides to visit the Governor-General to call an election.

“The Minister and the PM have been ducking out for practice runs from The Lodge to Government House in the only Bushmaster left in the nation if we really do end up sending 20 to Ukraine and the Minister has got the trip down pat,” one of the Minister‘s staffers told The Bug.

“As soon as the PM decides to see the G-G to call the election, the Minister will have him there in 10 minutes flat, or in about 45 minutes if he insists on stopping by the Chinese Embassy to chuck a few wheelies.” (main picture)

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MELBOURNE: A dejected federal Treasurer has checked his teal-coloured diary and has advised he is not available on any dates his shadow Jim Chalmers might suggest for a series of debates during the looming federal election campaign.

“And that’s sad, regrettably, because I was so much looking forward to a robust exchange of views and the visions the two major sides of politics hold for our nation’s future,” Josh Frydenberg said. “I would have wiped the floor with him.”

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NEWCASTLE: The disability pensioner who slagged off at Prime Minister Scott Morrison in the Edgeworth Tavern on the outskirts of the city on Wednesday has already received countless nominations as the NSW entrant in the 2023 Australian of the Year award.

Above: Scott Morrison gives his minders a “Who the fuck selected this venue for a photo-op?” look.