Worm to play vital role in TV debates

SYDNEY: Channel 9 has announced that the much-maligned “worm” will play a vital role in gauging voters’ reactions during a series of 2022 federal election debates between Prime Minister Scott Morrison and Opposition Leader Anthony Albanese.

“There’s no way in the world we could have not let Mr Morrison take part,” a station executive explained.

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MELBOURNE: Prime Minister Scott Morrison has used a media call here early this morning to call for voters to take a long, hard, look at the Opposition. “We should never, ever, forget how long it took for Gough Whitlam as the then Labor prime minister to finally visit Hobart after the Tasman Bridge disaster in January 1975,” he said.

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CANBERRA: Prime Minister Scott Morrison continues to distance himself from disgraced Hillsong Church founder and pastor Brian Houston.

In a prepared statement released here, Mr Morrison said: “If the truth be know, Jenny and I really never had much to do with Bruce Houghton and his wife, Barbie-Doll.

“Heck, I was only saying to Jenny the other day: ‘It must be, what, more than 15 years, hon, since we’ve been to Hillsong Church and prayed there with Barry Horeton and his wife Bonnie-Bee?’.

“And I can categorically deny that I ever, at any stage, attempted to get Pastor Basil Horehound invited to a White House dinner I was attending. That was a dreadful, unfounded rumour!

“I’ll sign a stat dec to that effect if you really feel it’s necessary.”

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MELBOURNE: Prime Minister Scott Morrison has downplayed how brave he had been to refuse first-aid treatment for very faint limp-lettuce-leaf marks left on his face after last night’s ABC 7.30 interview with Leigh Sales.

“I’m fine. It’s no big deal, really,” he said.

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MELBOURNE: Prime Minister Scott Morrison has used a news conference here to debunk the latest opinion poll showing him trailing badly behind Labor on the eve of the federal election.

“I simply do not accept the basis or the premise of that Resolve Political Monitor poll for The Sydney Morning Herald or any other recent polls for that matter,” he smirked.