Election call faces delay

The calling of the 2022 federal election has been delayed and will now need to wait until Prime Minister Scott Morrison is discharged from hospital after undergoing surgery to remove a ukulele from his rectum.

A spokesperson for Canberra Hospital said Mr Morrison was brought by ambulance to the hospital’s emergency department last night where he was assessed and given painkillers (main picture) before undergoing surgery in the early hours of this morning.

A spokesperson for the Prime Minister’s Office (PMO) said Mr Morrison was rushed to the hospital after his security detail at The Lodge called an ambulance early yesterday evening following what was described as “an incident” involving the Prime Minister and his wife Jenny.

 The PMO spokesperson did not provide further details but confirmed that Mrs Morrison was due to be interviewed by Australian Federal Police today.

He said AFP officers would not be interviewing the Morrisons’ two daughters.

“Their daughters are not regarded as witnesses because apparently they were completely unaware of events at The Lodge yesterday evening until noticing a commotion when the ambulance arrived,” he said.

“Apparently in recent weeks they have taken to permanently wearing noise-cancelling headphones whenever the Prime Minister is at home.”

The Canberra Hospital spokesperson said Mr Morrison underwent surgery as soon as possible but conceded there had been a delay of several hours while a surgeon with relevant experience was located.

“Performing a ukulectomy is not something that happens every day,” the spokesperson said.

“We finally located a general surgeon in Sydney who had not actually performed one before but had read the medical literature and viewed very scratchy online footage of a 1971 ukulectomy performed in Los Angeles on American entertainer the late Herbert Khaury, otherwise known as Tiny Tim (pictured) after an argument with his first wife.

“We needed to wait several hours while the surgeon flew from Sydney to Canberra but luckily the operation was a success.

“I understand the doctor followed exactly the steps in the 1971 US operation except for the fact that shortly after that procedure Tiny Tim made the somewhat unusual request to have his ukulele reinserted,” the spokesperson said.