James, Parnell worthy joint winners

If the answer is Parnell Palme McGuinness and James Campbell, you wouldn’t be blamed for thinking the question was obviously: “What has an IQ of 118?”

But, no! Parnell Palme McGuinness and James Campbell is the answer to the question: “Who are the joint winners of The Bug‘s Media Glass House Arse-Licker of the Month award for March!

It’s the first time in the uncoveted award’s history that dishonours have been shared.

Let’s praise The Sun-Herald‘s James Campbell first. To be quite frank, our judges basically put down their glasses after his front-page (below right) appeared a few Saturdays back. No-one was going to beat that, they thought. And a very reasonable thought, to be fair.

Because we like you Buggers too much, we won’t offend you by repeating any of the accompanying article. Another reason is we didn’t read it. Didn’t have to.

Just by the heading alone, was there ever likely to be a better example of the total frenzy the large bulk of the mainstream media whipped itself into in the weeks following the death of Kimberley Kitching on 10 March?

The “Labor murdered poor Kimmie!” lines of attack, the viciousness of which was only matched by the later “Gutless Anthony Albanese shows he’s unfit to be PM by refusing our reasonable demands to hold an inquiry that we could then tear strips off over and over again until election day!” propaganda push.

But then along came a single paragraph from Parnell Palme McGuinness’s column in last weekend’s The Sydney Morning Herald that simply took our judges’ breath away.

PPMcG was just banging on with just about everyone else in the mainstream mediocre how this one issue – totally unproveable suggestions that totally unproveable bullying from Labor “mean girls” had killed poor Kimberley Kitching – could lead to Labor’s loss at the May poll.

Don’t you just love that level-playing field in Australian politics where one horrendously beaten- up issue can derail Labor’s hopes after years in the wilderness and a shitty government with almost a decade of corruption, policy blunders and policy inertia can be happily waved through for a fresh term?

Anywho, back to PPMcG. Along with all the other MSM LNP apologists, you could almost feel and hear Parnell’s fervent, frenzied hope that Kitching’s passing would also mean death for Labor!

So are you all sitting down? Got a chuck bucket handy if you’ve got a sensitive tummy?

Here it that one, unbelievable, illogical, mind-numbingly stupid paragraph…

This right-wing nut job and anti-woker has written a lot of shit since the weekend Heralds made the mistake of giving her risible dribble a regular outlet but has there ever been anything more roll-on-the-floor laughable that this one paragraph?

PPMcG is at least admitting here what is now accepted fact: Kitching forewarned Reynolds that the alleged rape at Parliament House just before the 2019 poll was going to be exposed.

If Parnell Palme McGuiness considers Kitching had a moral responsibility to run to Reynolds’ office, the “Mean Girls” would be perfectly within their rights to give Kitching the rounds of the kitchen. Very harsh words would have been warranted, at the very least. “Kimmie, why don’t you fuck right off and join the Liberals!” would have been very acceptable.

But here’s the kicker that convinced our judges that James Campbell had to share this month’s Arselicker award.

Kitching feared the alleged rape was being “unethically politicised”!

You know the one? Where the office cleaning was brought forward a day after someone apparently noticed a couch was allegedly a bit sticky. Where the alleged victim was sent west after being told to shut up. Where the alleged rapist was sent east and given a fresh reference. Where Reynolds was forced to apologise for calling the alleged rape victim a lying cow.

Where any decent, clear-thinking, person (that immediately eliminates PPMcG) would be entitled to believe, on the balance of probabilities, that PM Scott Morrison knew about the alleged rape probably not long after the alleged rapist was zipping up his alleged trousers in an alleged ministerial office only metres from his own alleged prime ministerial suite.

Parnell Palme McGuinness might be the only columnist in this nation who thinks that a federal opposition running with this scandal as hard and as fast as it could is “unethically politicising” things.

For this reason alone, The Bug is seriously considering giving Palme Parnell McGuinness naming rights for this monthly award.

The Bug’s Media Glass House Parnell Palme McGuinness Arse-Licker of the Month trophy has a certain ring to it. A very, very, clean sphincteral ring at that.

Don Gordon-Brown