Houston, we had a problem…

… but a quick little lie fixed that!

Let’s assume – for the sake of argument – that Scott Morrison is telling the truth for once.

That he hasn’t been to Hillsong Church for 15 years or more.

Someone on Twitter suggested yesterday that the photo (below) was taken in 2019 when Smoko opened a Hillsong conference for his mentor Brian Houston, pictured with his pants hitched up.

Now if Smoko is telling the truth for once, maybe the Hillsong conference wasn’t actually held at Hillsong’s main profitorium? Had to be held somewhere in Sydney with an even bigger capacity to house all those worshippers filled with faith and a love of God and, hopefully, filled wallets with which to show that faith and love.

Fair enough if that’s the case, right? A pastor’s got to make a bob to please his God.

Maybe the various other photos of the three we’ve all seen over the years – Jen, Smoko and Brian – in happy-clapping devotion to that money-hungry God – were taken at the Morrison’s own Horizon Pentecostal church in the Shire and Brian, between getting drunk and banging on women’s bedrooms with what might have been a fist, was but a guest preacher each of those days?

What does seem certain is that Smoko’s “haven’t been to Hillsong for 15 years” comment was clearly seen as an attempt to distance himself from his mentor and would be White House dinner date.

If all this is true about a decade-and-a-half sans Hillsong – and Smoko is telling the truth for once – it’s certainly a very unpleasant insight into how our current PM’s mind works.

A normal person might come up with a general observation that it’s sad what has happened “to my friend Brian and if the allegations are true, that he gets the spiritual guidance and support he needs to make a full recovery and return, with God’s divine guidance, to being the fine, noble, man I have known and admired for such a long time”. Blah, blah, fucking blah.

But then again, Smoko is far from a normal person.

He runs away from Houston and Hillsong as fast as his chubby legs will carry him, desperate to get to another media call where he can unleash a fresh personal attack on Albanese’s character.

And, that, dear readers is the mark of a natural leader. Someone dripping in style and class and oozing oodles of charisma; the perfect reason why Albanese simply isn’t up to the task of being the prime minister of this great country of ours!

Don Gordon-Brown.