Bond goes back to the future

An official announcement is yet to be made but today I can reveal exclusively for readers of The Bug the identity of the actor who’ll play the new James Bond following the decision by Daniel Craig to abandon the role he’s played in five films since 2006.

The new James Bond will actually be an old one – none other than our own Aussie actor George Lazenby who previously played British secret agent 007 only once in On Her Majesty’s Secret Service back in 1969.

Filming has already started with the script based on Bond being called out of retirement from where he is living in a London nursing home to fight an evil overlord intent on destroying the world.

The 82-year-old Lazenby told me that he had hoped to again play opposite Diana Rigg who filled the role of Bond’s love interest in the 1969 film.

“Diana and I had great chemistry on screen and off,” he said. “But producers ruled out signing her up for the new film just because she had died a couple of years back,” he explained.

“Still, with CGI and the like I reckon they could have got around that little detail.

“But I’m very happy with the producers’ second choice of Tina Turner who’s also 82 and the script calls for a lot of sexual tension between Bond and her as an aged care nurse.

“I must admit our first bedroom scene (main picture) was a challenge for both of us. It involved Tina changing the sheets on my bed after I shit myself in my sleep.

“It was probably more of a challenge for Tina because, as you may know, I’ve always been a method actor.”

Lazenby also told me that he was pleased with the producers’ decision not to give Ms Turner’s character a name with a double entendre like past Bond girls such as Pussy Galore, Plenty O’Toole, Chew Mee, or Holly Goodhead.

“That’s just not on in the ‘Me Too’ era, so I was relieved when I first read the script to see Bond would be flirting with Connie Lingus,” he said.

I can also reveal that the name of the new Bond film will hark back to Lazenby’s previous outing in the lead role.

A source close to the producers told me that the title “covered all bases”.

“It’s been 53 years since George last played the role of Bond and none of us is getting any younger, especially you-know-who,” the source said.

“So we felt that On His Majesty’s Secret Service gave us a bit of insurance, so to speak.”