Albo channels former PMs

Opposition Leader Anthony Albanese has undergone yet another image makeover after declaring he would govern in a style similar to former prime ministers Bob Hawke and John Howard if Labor wins the coming federal election.

Addressing a business conference in Sydney today, Mr Albanese (main picture) assured some of the nation’s biggest captains of industry that they had nothing to fear from a Labor government.

“I’ve been studying both Hawke and Howard very carefully as I prepare for the possibility of leading Labor to victory,” he told them.

“If Labor wins then business can rightly be entitled to feel comfortable and relaxed as they were under Howard. Or maybe just rightly entitled.

“As far as Hawkie goes, I’ve also been studying his style and have recently started rooting a lot more and while that doesn’t necessarily help business it sure as hell helps me,” he said before minders rushed to the stage and ushered Mr Albanese out of the venue.


The Prime Minister’s Office has issued guidelines for people who may interact with Scott Morrison on his visit today to flood-hit northern NSW.

A PMO spokesperson said the new guidelines stated that under no circumstances should anybody attempt to shake hands with the PM on his visit.

When asked for a reason the spokesperson hesitated for some moments before saying the instruction was “probably something to do with COVID”.

“COVID, yeah. That’s it. Let’s say it’s COVID-safe, hey?” they added.

“Regardless, I can say that the PM is very much looking forward to his visit to Page… errr, I mean Lismore, today,” the spokesperson said.


Australia’s richest woman Gina Rinehart had told Australian women that they need to work harder if they want to succeed in business.

In an interview with SKY News presenter Andrew Bolt, Ms Rinehart said women would not get ahead if they worked only part-time or didn’t work on weekends or public holidays.

Afterwards a spokesperson for the mining magnate defended the statements, rejecting claims that they were unrealistic, patronising, and insulting.

“They’re nothing of the sort. Gina is proof of her own words,” the spokesperson said.

“She didn’t get where she is today by not putting in a lot of full-time effort including on weekends and holidays waiting to inherit everything from her father.”