Biden commits to war!

WASHINGTON: United States President Joe Biden has used a White House media conference here to make it abundantly clear that if the Russian invasion of Ukraine escalates into a wider European conflict that eventually becomes World War 3, the US will be there “boots and all”.

A clearly angry and agitated Mr Biden told the media scrum: “The moment World War 3 breaks out, the US will start selling our NATO allies even more much-needed military equipment at more than fair terms. Britain, especially, will have access to very large loans at very competitive interest rates that will take many decades to pay off but will truly be worth it in the end.

“And if we eventually have to enter World War 3 ourselves two years and 101 days later, so be it!” a bellicose Mr Biden said, slapping a defiant right fist into the palm of his left hand for emphasis before nodding off half way through questions.

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SYDNEY: The peak body representing Australia’s restaurant, cafe and take-away food operators says Russia’s invasion of Ukraine has hit the sector hard on top of its struggles with COVID-19 pandemic lockdowns and restrictions.

“Just as we are emerging from the difficulties and financial losses we’ve faced over the past few years we now get hit by another big cost,” a spokesperson for the National Restaurant and Catering Industry Association said.

“All of our members across Australia now face the added cost of having new table menus printed and new signwriting for wall menus to change ‘Chicken Kiev’ to Chicken Kyiv’.

“As if our members haven’t lost enough money since the pandemic broke out – and now this,” the spokesperson said.

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LONDON: Former world peace envoy and British Prime Minister Tony Blair has labelled as “disturbingly Goebbellian” the reasons Russian President Vladimir Putin has given for invading The Ukraine.

“It’s an almost exact copy of the Hitler playbook from 1939 before the Nazis marched into Poland,” Mr Blair said.

“I haven’t heard such arrant nonsense and such a clearly absurd and transparent pretense for war since the Coalition of the Willing went into Iraq on the premise that Saddam Hussein had state-of-the-art, chemically-charged weapons of mass destruction that could strike London in 45 seconds.”