VC winner’s travel plans

SYDNEY: War hero Ben Roberts-Smith has been spotted in a number of the city’s used car yards, looking to buy a used DeLorean DMC, preferably one with a flux capacitor.

One used-car salesman on Parramatta Road told The Bug: “I think he wants to go back a few years and change his mind about suing some newspapers over some things they wrote.”

***

SYDNEY: An ugly brawl has broken out at a Parramatta Road used car yard that had a used DeLorean DMC for sale on its lot.

The business owner told The Bug: “I saw the NSW Premier Dominic Perrottet and Transport Minister David Elliott fighting with a tall gentleman in army uniform for the for-sale sign on the vehicle.

“I think the two politicians wanted to go back in time four days and restore their image from the current one they now have of being typical lying Liberal cunts who’d say anything to smear working-class people and to advance their own, selfish, political causes, if you’ll pardon the French.”

***

Former US President Donald Trump has flown out of Australia following a lighting low-key visit.

Mr Trump landed in Sydney in a private Trump Organisation jet and was ferried by a Trump helicopter to a Parramatta Road used-car yard where he inspected a second-hand DeLorean DMC.

“Apparently he wants to go back in time and pardon the French who collaborated with the Nazis in World War II,” a salesman at the car yard said.

“The ex-President said he needed a precedent he could point to if he is ever called to face the music over the grovelling deference he showed in office to Vladimir Putin.”