Perrottet set to quit!


From our Sydney bureau hub.

In the wake of the disastrous Super Saturday NSW by-elections, Premier Dominic Perrottet is expected to quit soon – as a staunch and practicing Catholic.

A close friend of the Premier in Cabinet told The Bug on the condition of anonymity: “The Boy Prem … sorry ….Dom has completely lost faith in the religion he had proudly and fully embraced his entire life.

“The Boy Prem… sorry … Dom told me just after he became Premier that God had come to him in a dream in the dead of night and said “Let it rip!” and “We must learn to live with Covid for the economy’s sake!”

“Dom asked God whether he would be rewarded for taking such a step and God thundered back in no uncertain terms: “Fuckin’ oath, lad!”

“You can understand now why the Boy Prem… sorry … Dom is so bitterly disappointed in his Maker with Bega on the South Coast now in Labor hands for the first time ever and even Gladys Berejiklian’s former very safe seat of Willoughby on a knife-edge.

“As Dom said to me just last night: ‘Fucking hell, Matt, the cunt’s let me down bigtime.”

The Bug understands that Mr Perrottet and his wife Helen are still to decide which of their six children already born will be send off to medical experimentation.

But as the anonymous Cabinet colleague told The Bug: “At least the Bo… Dom … will now be able to wear one of those French tickler, black mamba, crocodile ribbed, rooster spurred things as often as he likes, and all of them designed to increase sexual pleasure for the little lady during intercourse while effectively preventing impregnation.”