Australia Post changes Xmas plans


Australia Post has made a sudden and dramatic change in its festive season marketing plans aimed at building goodwill among its customers, especially needy families under financial pressure, charities, and other not-for-profit groups.

A spokesperson for the publicly owned mail and parcel delivery company said it was immediately scrapping its traditional pre-Christmas “Letters to Santa” program and replacing it with “a more relevant marketing campaign”.

“In the next few days we will urgently recall and scrap all of the 2021 Letters to Santa marketing material we have produced and distributed including its dedicated website, signage, and other paraphernalia such as novelty post boxes,” the spokesperson said.

“Under our new last-minute campaign we will be encouraging people, not just children, to write to Clive Palmer asking for a slice of the $60 million or $80 million or $100 million he will again be spending on political advertising in the coming federal election.

“Australians will soon see for themselves evidence of our new Letters to the Big Fat Arsehole program. (main picture)

“We believe it will enable needy Aussies of any age to write to Mr Palmer asking him to send them a small slice of that money to help them out instead of wasting it on political ads, especially as a fair whack of it will go straight into the pockets of that other big arsehole, Rupert Murdoch.

“We think that the many charities and not-for-profit groups operating throughout Australia doing it tough while doing good work to help those in need would welcome a financial helping hand too, so they’ll also be able to write to Mr Palmer seeking some of his funds.”

The spokesperson said negotiations were under way with Mr Palmer to determine if he would replace local “Santas” and appear in person at selected Australia Post outlets where he would receive personal pleas for help.

“So far Mr Palmer has been resisting this part of our marketing plan because we are insisting that he be double vaccinated before we allow any children, pensioners, or charity representatives to sit on his lap and ask for cash,” the spokesperson said.