PM’s CCS breakthrough


The federal government is hastily amending its recently released climate change plan to accommodate a sensational new technology that directly involves Prime Minister Scott Morrison himself.

The new discovered CCS process promises the ongoing delivery of clean energy at very low cost.

“This new CCS technology shouldn’t be confused with the old CCS process – carbon capture and storage,” a spokesperson for Mr Morison said.

“The newly discovered CCS process – short for conflagration creating steam – uses the PM’s permanently burning pants to heat water in an industrial boiler to drive generators at major power stations.

“The process was discovered by accident when the PM recently visited a factory making industrial boilers. (main picture)

“When he stood inside one of the boilers, an engineer at the plant had a lightbulb moment and saw the opportunity to harness the heat from the PM’s pants fire and apply it to create steam to drive power station turbines.

“It’s a masterstroke and perfectly illustrates the emphasis in the climate change plan on the development of new technologies – something, I might add, that was criticised as being too airy fairy when the PM launched the plan.

“Well, the PM has yet again shown his critics that neither he nor his climate change plan should be written off so lightly.

“This discovery alone could get us to net zero emissions by 2030 if not before,” the spokesperson said.