Tomb of The Unknown Suckholer

Is it too early to declare the winner of The Bug’s Media Glass House Arse-Licker of the Month award for November, considering the month’s only just over a third way through?

And especially when the judges still don’t know the identity of the extraordinary arselicker “journalist” they’d like to honour right now, based on the very reasonable assumption it’s highly unlikely anyone else in the mainstream media is going to come close over coming weeks.

So far, all the judges have is a voice. And that the voice is of a Sydney Morning Herald “journalist”.

Just consider the mind-blowing, head-shaking audacity of this unknown but already accomplished ringmaster.

He clearly wants to be the paper’s political editor sooner than later. He desperately wants Peter Costello to know he’s made of the right stuff.

So what did this brownnoser try to do at an Anthony Albanese presser yesterday? He tried to wedge the Opposition Leader, presenting as fact some pure unadulterated bullshit. That’s right, something Scott Morrison said in lying … sorry, passing.

Sadly, this “journalist” hasn’t cottoned onto the fact yet that anything Morrison says has to be taken with a grain, if not salt, then little brown nuggets splattered on the floor of Engadine Maccas.

There’s nothing wrong with a journalist trying for a gotcha moment on a politician. To extract from them something they really would have preferred not to say.

But for fuck’s sake, whoever you are, pick the right topic! You’re on a hiding to nothing when you think Morrison’s on a winner over anything to do with what he said about electric vehicles back in the 2019 election campaign … or since. Or in the weeks and months to come.

Morrison this week lied in saying that the Labor Party had lied in saying that he had bagged EVs back in 2019. “I never said that,” Morrison lied earlier this year and doubled down on this week, knowing full well he bagged EVs brutally in the 2019 campaign.

Morrison has lied consistently about the issue from the get go. He lied back then that Labor wanted to end the weekend. He lied when he claimed Labor wanted to take work and recreational petrol and diesel vehicles off Austtralians. He’s lied repeatedly that he had never bagged EV technology. “It’s good technology” he lied earlier this year about what he lied about EVs a few years back.

He continues to double down on all the lies he has told over the issue; especially the one that Labor back then and still now wants to mandate EV numbers, to foist these costly, once gutless things (the technology has come a long way since then! – another lie) on Australians against their will.

In other words, if there were to be just one issue that any journalist with a modicum of nous, the barest knowledge of its history, the litany of lies Morrison continues to tell around it, would and should stay well clear of, it’s EVs.

But not our unknown Sorbent replacement specialist. There’s some conjecture on social mediocre that it’s Rob Harris, the SMH’s national affairs editor, which would make a lot of sense. But Albanese would have recognised Harris, surely? Unless of course his face was obscured by Morrison faecal matter?

Off camera, whoever it was clearly tried to wedge Albanese by stating as fact a key major Morrison EV lie that the PM continues to push in the hope that those morons in marginal seats who swallowed this bullshit back in 2019 will offer their plate and beg for “more!”

“The Prime Minister says he is backing Australian choices, not putting bandaids on them and not telling them what to do,” his preamble begins although his words are a bit muffled due to you-know-what.

He demanded to be allowed to finish his question when Albanese bristled up and started to respond. “My question is are you proud of Labor’s record of things like quotas and mandates on everything from women…”

Now this brownnoser should just be grateful that Albanese cut him off there before he made an even bigger fool of himself. if that was at all possible. He should at least send Albo a bottle of scotch and a nice thank-you card.

His reputation as a balanced, logical and professional journalist should be now dead and buried among his peers at that presser. Any anyone else in the craft who saw the exchange. But then again, maybe not.

That Morrison has no qualms whatsoever on doubling down on lie after lie on EVs – and just about any other issue to be fair – suggests he has absolutely nothing to fear from a mainstream media full of scribes as bad if not worse than The Unknown Suckholer.