Were you dying to read this?

The Bug‘s MGH guesses you were …. and still are. Dying that is.

The readership of the hardcopy versions of The Sunday Mail and The Courier-Mail are, largely, and how can we put this gently, not quite all yet in God’s waiting room but they’re getting there.

And until they sell up and pay the exorbitant fees for their aged-home places, they still own properties unlike their grandchildren and great grandchildren.

And this dying readership is what we assume the genius senior editorial people at The Sunday Mail were pitching to at the weekend when they splashed about shit like BETTER THAN LOTTO! And property prices that are “flippin’ amazing”. And news that some rich prick has made a $1.9 million profit in less than a fucking year!!!

And when you think about it, who shouldn’t if you’ve got the reddies in the first place?!!! Oh, joy for our society! What a wonderful thing our own special version of free-enterprise democracy has become! Rejoice to the world. The Australian dream of a home of your own is dead and buried …for those angry, self-interested proles, at least. Right, Prue Goward?

The MGH’s best guess is that the senior executives at the paper who cracked chubbies over this state of affairs and declared in one voice: “This must be our lead!” are not only very well paid but own properties of their own. Probably negative-gear a few. Love to see those rents galloping ahead.

Well, here’s the MGH’s message to those in charge at Bowen Hills: keep pandering to the old and dying. Your product is in the same parlous position.

***

Editors of metropolitan daily newspapers around the country have given varying reasons as to why they downplayed or ignored the news from federal parliament last week that the Morrison government had used its numbers to prevent Christian Porter’s blind trust from being examined by the privileges committee.

“We were really going to go big on it,” the stand-in editor of The Sydney Morning Herald told The Bug, “but then news came in early in the night that Victorian Premier Daniel Andrews had been spotted walking around Melbourne with one of his shoelaces undone.”

***

If you are still wondering why News Crap Australia suddenly turned green and embraced the climate-change cause you can stop.

Our Media Glass House teams have previously pondered the possibility that pure self-interest and commercial opportunism are perhaps at the heart of the decision by Rupert Murdoch’s gang, as well as the opportunity to lavish editorial support on the other branch of their corporate empire, the federal Liberal Party.

But keen readers of the ongoing Mission Zero special reports featuring in all News Crap turdbloids will have notice a story lurking at the bottom of Saturday’s effort. (pictured)

It said in no uncertain terms that a global survey had revealed that consumers – including half of the Australians surveyed – are clearly motivated to take into account a company’s environmental, social, and governance issues when deciding what products to buy.

As always, Rupert and his gang do nothing unless there’s a dollar in it.