Labor unveils election slogan

FEDERAL POLITICS:

A confident and combative Opposition Leader has overnight unveiled the slogan the ALP will be taking to the looming federal election.

In a performance relieved party admin heavyweights agreed was just the fillip Labor needed at this stage of the electoral cycle, Anthony Albanese looked extremely confident and humorously toyed with his audience as he pretended to fumble with the curtain cord as he slowly unveiled the slogan.

“Have patience,” he beamed. “I’m sure you’re going to love it. It may not be It’s Time but it will nevertheless show we mean business and we strongly believe… it’s our time!”

The party faithful burst into applause as the slogan slowly came into view: WE’RE NOT THEM!

“We’re not them! We’re not them!” Mr Albanese shouted, his arms raised in victory, to the party faithful in a large function room in a pub close to his Grayndler electorate office in inner-Sydney.

“It’s the perfect slogan for Labor seeing we’ve decided on net zero policy differences from the Morrison government by the 2022 election!

“That’s going to be our pitch to the people of Australia! Vote for me and my team because ….” and Mr Albanese cleverly paused once more to make doubly sure he had his audience exactly where he wanted them … “WE’RE NOT THEM!”

The crowd chanted the slogan for several minutes before Mr Albanese called for calm and asked for questions from the media at the back of the room.

“Without a single policy difference at all, you are clearly going to campaign solely on the issue of decency, honesty and integrity in governance,” Channel 9’s Chris Uhlmann asked.

“That’s right,” Mr Albanese replied.

“So what do you intend to do to stamp out the gold-standard pork-barreling that has gone on under almost nine years now of successive LNP governments?”

Mr Albanese picked up his notes and shouted: “The drinks are on me!” before signalling to his professional photographer to join him at the bar where he promptly downed a foaming schooner of Resch’s in next to no time at all and checked to make sure his snapper had got it.