Coorey, Uhlmann write for us!

The Bug is proud to announce that arguably two of the finest minds in the mainstream media politics arena, Phillip Coorey and Chris Uhlmann, have agreed to jointly pen a regular article for us.

In their first effort – and an amazing exclusive it is at that – both explain why the door is more than just ajar now for a return of the Morrison government at the looming federal poll, thus saving the nation from one of those rare and inevitably disastrous moments in power for the socialist wreckers that are the Australian Labor Party.

Another miracle on its way

By Phillip Coorey and Chris Uhlmann

Two of the finest political minds and brilliant strategists this nation has ever been lucky to witness in action are close to ensuring the return of the LNP, the natural party of power in Australia since Federation.

We can report that under a manufactured facade of an impasse on climate-change policy – one that on the surface seems impossible to resolve – Prime Minister Scott Morrison and his deputy Nationals leader Barnaby Joyce are working glove in hand to keep Anthony Albanese exactly where he belongs – in opposition.

It’s a sting so clever and ruthless that you could almost feel sorry for Albanese, even when you know he has never really cut through in the job and Mr Morrison has always had his measure.

It’s a classic example of nice guys come last, and that’s where Albanese and Labor belong for Australia’s sake.

And we can reveal that this brilliantly orchestrated sting now under way has only been possible through the wily backing – some might call it manipulation – of Rupert Murdoch and his global NewsCorp organisation.

The plan is simple: Mr Morrison will shortly announce that Australia is committed to zero net emissions by 2050. It will be done by Cabinet decree so there’s no messy brawling up on Capital Hill or damaging resignations. Sure, there will be climate-change tragics who will decry that goal as too little too late but it’s a commitment that should see arguably Australia’s finest leader since Sir Robert Menzies lauded at the looming COP25 at Glasgow.

And here’s where the sting gets brilliantly nasty.

Both Mr Morrison and his hard-working deputy, having set the groundwork, will now rely on Rupert Murdoch’s lieutenants to convince Albanese that he will have the global media outfit’s total support if he reaffirms the 2019 election pledge to cut emissions by 45 percent by 2030.

Nice-guy but gullible Albanese should be easy to trick this way, having foolishly already been sucked in by stories that Mr Murdoch and his global news organisation have turned green and would support such action.

That’s not going to happen of course and new “green” Newscorp Australia mastheads around Australia will praise Morrison for his real but affordable 2050 target to save the world while hounding Albanese and Labor from that moment on until election day, each page after page in his printed mastheads and all SkyNews commentators screaming the cost will send Australia broke while doubling everyone’s income taxes! Clive Palmer’s $90 million ad spend will back that up to the hilt.

Brilliant, isn’t it? It will be the 2019 election all over again, when a confident, nice-knockabout-guy-next-door Mr Morrison can sit back between photo shoots of drinking beer, kicking a footie, driving a truck or cooking a curry and let the mainstream media shred naive Albanese to pieces.

And we’re told that as soon as nice, decent but rather dull Albanese falls for the trap, Tim Wilson and several colleagues will begin a lengthy, all-states, parliamentary roadshow committee inquiry denouncing Labor’s 2030 targets while raising Liberal funds and signing up new members in the process. They’ve been itching for months for Labor to foolishly announce a policy they could get their teeth and taxpayers’ money into.

The only thing left to do then will be for Scott “The Man who Saved Australia” Morrison on election night to praise his Lord and Master – without actually mentioning Rupert Murdoch by name – for another “miracle win” and quiet Australians everywhere can all breathe a sigh of relief over the return to power of the only side of Australian politics that has ever known how to manage economies well.