Award winning is simple for Simon

Simon Benson who pens for the Liberal Party of Australia has snared his second Media Glass House Arse-Licker of the Month award for an almost unbelievable effort in August.

The Bug’s MGH judges praised Benson, who also writes for The Australian, for his sickening, ring-cleansing endorsement of Prime Minister Scott Morrison in a comment piece in the national broadshit last Saturday week.

Our senior judge told us: “Sure, and sadly, there were any number of other mainstream media politics writers and columnists who were beside themselves with the prospect that Morrison had finally found a theme for a winning campaign but Simon’s effort was extraordinary.

“You could almost hear him cracking a doughie over Morrison’s belief that Australians had grown sick of lockdowns, allowing him to revert publically to what he’s always believed: company profits before people’s lives.

“And that Simon is totally confident that once Australians are 70 per cent vaccinated his Father of the Nation will reap the benefits of that and will be forgiven completely for his monumental stuff-up over the vaccine rollout and his ‘we’re at the front of the queue’ lies.”

‘We judges particularly praised Benson for an avalanche of words and phrases in praise of Morrision, whom he clearly believes deserves a second full term and a fourth LNP government in a row.

Simon writes his beloved national leader “is at his best when he is campaigning. And now he has a campaign”.

“Any sense that the country was adrift has been arrested with Morrison’s strident performance this week”.

“… he is now dictating terms to [the Premiers].

Here’s one piece that really had our Arse-Licker judges reaching for their chuck buckets: “Morrison has separated himself from the old thinking and aligned himself with what he believes will become an irresistible majority of people by the end of the year.

As clearly does Simon whose chubby no doubt had grown to a full-sized mongrel as he penned this shit.

For a man who writes “the election is still six months away” the concept that any divisions at national cabinet between the federal, state and territory governments over exactly what was agreed to in the national plan to phase out of COVID-19 restrictions will still be a hot topic at that election is laughable. As is the notion that Morrison by then will be totally cleared of blame of his quarantine, privately run aged care and vaccine fuckups by a grateful public.

The Bug also wonders what Simon thinks about the latest Newspoll in his own newspaper.

Taken just days after Simon wrote lovingly about Morrison having found a winning campaign formula, the poll showed the government dropping three primary points and Labor gaining one for a 54-46 two- party-preferred majority.

Cleary the voters of Australia have not read Simon’s brilliant, professional, balanced assessment of how his beloved leader has turned the tables on the states and territories and is now on track for a decisive win at Election 2022.

Or they have … and quickly come to the conclusion, as most Politics 101 students would, that it’s complete, one-eyed bollocks.