Brisbane man’s game plan


A Brisbane man says he is disappointed that the Australian Olympic Committee will not support his plan to urge the International Olympic Committee to create a fifth major international games event in time for the Brisbane Olympics in 2032.

Self-employed driving school instructor Al Kohol said he and two friends had formed the idea for a major global Olympics-style games event while watching the Tokyo Games on television at their local hotel.

“Me and my old mates Sam Buca and Jerry Boam like to have a few drinks, maybe once a day from 10am onwards,” Mr Kohol explained. “We generally finish around 10pm each night and in the meantime we pass the time at the bar by watching TV.

“I occasionally duck out to give some young learner driver a lesson. Thanks Christ they drive or else I’d be broke.

“But lately when I’m not behind the wheel it’s been the Tokyo Olympics and the Paralympics that have caught my and my mates’ attention.

“We were watching the events and one of us – I was so pissed I can’t remember if it was me or one of the other guys – made the observation that all the athletes at both major events were sober.

“Then one of us said: How much more difficult it would be if they were all goatfaced?

“That’s when the idea of the Paralytic Games was born – a world-class meet when every competitor must be full as a centipede’s sock drawer to compete.

“We all agreed then and there, I think, that we’d work up the concept and take it to the IOC.”

Mr Kohol, Mr Buca, and Mr Boam (pictured left to right) have already staged a test event.

“We each bought a few bottles and slabs and met down at the local high school’s athletics track and really gave it a nudge,” Mr Kohol said.

“Then we tried to run a 400 metres event. I won’t go into details except to say we probably need a bit more intensive training and that’ll happen when Sam’s skull fracture heals.”

Mr Kohol said he could see no reason the IOC would not be interested in the idea of a Paralytic Games.

“They already have the summer and winter Olympics plus there’s the summer and winter Paralympic Games.

“The Paralytic Games would be a great addition and would give everyone sitting at home something they could really relate to,” he said.

Mr Kohol said he had asked the AOC to arrange a meeting with the IOC but they had refused.

“These people have no vision. We know it takes a while to organise these things, but wouldn’t it be great if the first Paralytic Games could be staged after the Brisbane Olympics and the Paralympics in 2032?

“I just hope me and Sam and Jerry are still around to enjoy it and maybe compete,” he said.