Bush and Blair wash their hands


Former US President George W Bush has rejected suggestions that he should shoulder responsibility for the collapse of the Afghanistan Government and the restoration to power of the Taliban by invading the country but then losing focus by also waging war on Iraq to topple Saddam Hussein.

Former UK Prime Minister Tony Blair who at the time enthusiastically backed the then US leader’s policies, earning him the nickname “Bush’s poodle”, has also denied responsibility for the fall of Afghanistan to the Taliban.

At his Texas ranch Mr Bush told reporters that he continued to reject criticisms of his decision to invade Iraq in 2003 following the invasion of Afghanistan in 2001 in the wake of the 11 September attacks on the US.

“Look fellas, we went into Afghanistan after 9/11 looking for al-Qaeda and Osama bin Laden, and they weren’t at home,” Mr Bush said.

“We had to do something. Right? So we invaded Iraq. That was an easy decision to make. It’s sort of a hobby for us Bushes.

“Now I know some people say that there was no need to invade Iraq to topple Saddam Hussein and that by doing so we lost the opportunity to stabilise Afghanistan and withdraw after ensuring its future as a secure and democratic nation.

“But it wasn’t my decision alone. The Brits were with us and I well remember the many discussions and personal meetings I had with the then UK Prime Minister Tony Blair after 9/11. (main picture)

“Hell, we had other world leaders too lining up to back my plan including that guy in charge of Austria at the time… I mean Australia…. Howard Johnson? No, that’s the hotel chain. Howard Johns? I can’t recall exactly but he was right behind me too.

“Sure we went into Iraq looking for weapons of mass destruction that never existed, and sure that decision cost the lives of around 5,000 US troops alone, plus possibly hundreds of thousands of civilian casualties, and billions of dollars.

“But hey, when you make an omelette you gotta break a few eggs. Right?” Mr Bush said.

Mr Blair said he also rejected any suggestions that he was ultimately culpable for the return of the Taliban in Afghanistan after supporting the Iraq diversion.

“George Bush and I did work closely together and I well recall the meetings we had in the Oval Office to discuss my unquestioned support of invasion of Iraq,” he said. (pictured)

You must remember that we went into both Afghanistan and then Iraq to stabilise and help bring peace to a very unstable part of the Middle East.

“The results speak for themselves,” Mr Blair said before raising his leg and licking his own genitals.