Hurt? Of course we’re bloody well hurt here at the Media Glass House. Very hurt indeed!
And the pain will continue as long as Nine Entertainment Co. continues to totally ignore our helpful – oh, who are we trying to kid? – our spot-on suggestions of ways to vastly improve their print and electronic media products.
1. Get rid of the fucking facemasks!
We have roused at Channel 9’s nightly news out of Sydney for months now, pleading that their reporters stop milking the gravitas of the COVID-19 crisis by wearing masks for to-camera field reports for dramatic effect. (Top images from Sunday night, August 15)
Take them off so the deaf and hearing impaired can pick up their latest horrific dangling participles, outrageous hyperboles or simple errors of fact.
If ABC journos across town can talk to the camera sans PPE then so can all those lovely female reporters at Nein … sorry, Nine …. and their token male colleagues.
2. Learn how to fucking sub properly.
The MGH has amused itself mightily over months by pointing out that there doesn’t appear to be a single sub left at the Herald mastheads who knows how to properly place a heading that runs across the gutter.
Or did we mean to say the single sub left at those papers?
Unless they’re now just being worked to the bone and no longer care, he or she or they seem hellbent on cutting the heading they cook up roughly in half and setting the half on the left hand page hard left, and the half on the right hand page hard right, mostly right or all over the place like Boris Johnson’s hair.
There’s no better example than this one from last Saturday’s SMH. The ‘by’ would have easily fitted on the left-hand page. By then setting the right-hand-side almost fully left, it would have been perfect.
And, trust us, no-one in production at the Heralds should complain about then having too-much white space over on the far right. The layout subs (sub?) at the Heralds have made white space the king in newspaper page design over recent years.
They could, of course, have change the words on the right page if they were trained in Fleet Street to believe no heading should ever be a character short any fucking where!
But no, they seem totally uninterested (or, as we mentioned, too exhausted) in applying the craft of journalism, eschewing the amount of clever thinking that would be required to nail a cross-gutter heading and are clearly happy to leave a gap in the middle larger than the difference between Karl Stefanovic and Allison Langdon’s monthly pay packets. Or Scott Morrison and truth-telling.
There were several other cross-gutter headings in the same edition where the same craft skills could have been employed …. if anyone cared, that is.
And assuming the editing software is up to the task as well.
2. Fix those fucking dilapidated presses and get the fold right.
Last weekend’s two Heralds had more lip on them than Cassius Clay in his prime.
If the guys and gals down the print shed are doing this to get photos that go across the gutter like the headings mentioned above, it’s not working.
Check the middle of the image used above. That’s a good centimetre showing of the cross-gutter sports page pix right at the back of the book but on the same reel.
So please have some pride in your print-media products and fix things regardless of how much time they’ve got left.
Maybe Newscorpe could print your editions for you? Your runs wouldn’t take too long.
And that time could be short. The Bug’s home-delivered copy of The Sun-Herald yesterday had not one Hardly Normal ad in an embarrassing 40-page main book that could have easily been carried away by a light breeze.